I've always seen things. Things that aren't there. Literally. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just losing my mind. Charlotte said that to me when she was dying. To her, the clock was taunting her - jumping from one wall to the other.
She just lay there, watching it jump and told me what it was doing, and shook her head at herself and said she was just afraid she was losing her mind.
I thought we had used our cash. I dreaded going to the bank today. Dreaded it so much. But then I looked in the file cabinet for something else, and found some money I forgotten I put back from myself. I didn't have to go to the bank after all, but hell, for the life of me, I don't recall putting that money in there.
I sit here trying to remember if I've always had a bad memory, and guess what. I can't remember! *laughs*
I think a year ago I'd have panicked about this memory loss, but for some reason, I dont have a good panic in me. *laughs* I'm too damned tired to panic.
I guess it's finally come down to it. I do need a vacation. A rest. A Sanitarium!
A padded room? The thought of that doesn't even panic me. What's going on here? *tries to panic about not being able to panic*
Oh well, there's something to be said for lethargy.
I don't miss the panic attacks whatsoever.. those things suck!
Well, it's getting late and the babies will be here in the morning. Gonna head out now and get some sleep.
G'nite world.
Posted by juel at June 25, 2003 01:15 AM