Today, driving to Williamsburg gave me time to think, to reflect on my life and wonder about the lives of those in my family. My mind drifted to my grandfather.
He was uneducated, I think he made it to the second grade. He worked hard, 2 jobs to support his wife and 5 kids. He had a really hard life.
Papaw is still alive, tho ailing now. He has diabetes, a heart condition, and is in general bad health. He got cranky and surly in his old age, and I've not seen him, or attempted to see him in years. The last time he was here, was when Bonnie came back from Mexico.
Papaw shook his cane at me like he was gonna hit me with it, and came through the house to check on Bonnie. That was the last time I saw him. I doubt ever seeing him alive again. I know I shouldn't be this way. I know some day I'll probably regret not wanting to visit with him. He's the only real thing left of mamaw, but I just can't go visit him. I can't.
I can, though, think about him from time to time.. remember things he said, or did, and on the way to Williamsburg, I did just that.
I watched the land speed by and there's a lot of gardens to see.. a lot of corn fields.
I remembered a time when I was about 12, and my sister was 9. We were here that spring, fresh from Detroit, and it was garden planting time. Early one morning, Papaw got us up to go out and help them get the garden spot ready for the seeds. It was hot by 10 that morning, so hot, and he'd tilled and tilled the ground.. we took turns trying to help, but we spent most of our time following behind him, picking up the larger rocks and tossing them out of the garden.
When he finished tilling, he sat on the ground, drinking some water, taking a break and he looked at me and my sis, and with this grin, he said we were going to smooth the dirt out for him. Then he explained just how we were going to do that. He pointed to a cross tie that he'd tied rope around, and he said he was going to loop that rope around Lisa's and my tummys and have us drag it back and forth over the garden, to smooth out the clumps.
Lisa and I looked at that cross tie, and then to each other and we laughed, and we looked at him and we said, noway, you're kidding. That thing was 6 feet long and if you know what a cross tie is, you know those suckers are heavy.
The garden was on a hill. Not much here in Kentucky is flat ground, and there wasn't a piece of that garden space flat.
He laughed with us and drank his water, and after his break, sure as hell he told us to get the rope, and put it over our stomachs and drag that cross tie over the dirt. He wasn't kidding.
Lord it was hot.
*laughs*
We dragged that sucker all over that hillside, smoothing out clumps, grumbling and complaining, but by days end, we had all the clumps out.
I remember mumbling to Lisa that we were kids, not mules, that papaw had lost his ever lovin mind. We knew better than to let him hear that tho, we just did it and complained among ourselves. I always thought he was mean for having us do that, I thought he was just sitting there laughing, getting a kick out of watching us work like mules.
Today though, reflecting, I sat up with this sudden understanding.. Papaw didn't have the words to tell us what his life had been like as a child. He was showing us. By tying us to that cross tie, he was just showing us how he'd smoothed the ground for the garden at his own parents or grandparents place. He was teachind us some of his history!
Later, tonight, I was telling mom this revelation. How papaw had been trying to teach Lisa and me a lesson about his own life.. some of his history. She laughed and said, "No he wasn't. He was being an asshole..."
*laughs*
So much for Reflecting.
Posted by juel at June 29, 2003 02:12 AM