Ever have one of those moments...the kind where.. like, years later someone will say while playing a game of cards, or while having radiation on a tumor.. "what was your most uncomfortable moment", and this one doesn't just pop to mind, it literally leaps there? And even after all those years you still feel a little queasy thinking about it, much less telling what it was?
I had one this evening. This moment will be that uncomfortable moment for me, for a very long time.. possibly for the rest of my life.
I don't, I really and truly don't like to be touched. I accept freely and give just as freely, hugs to my grandkids.. kisses to them, I'll hold and cuddle them when they want, that's it. I'll hug mom if she's feeling blue, or dad if I'm feeling sentimental. My aunt Brenda twice a year and my cousin Shelly maybe 3 times a year. My sister? No. We don't touch! My husband? Hell no, we don't touch either. What I listed...that's my limit. I have a touch quota and I strictly adhere to it. Everyone knows that.
It's not that I don't love people, for the most part, I do. It's just that I'm not a huggy-touchy-feely type person. The best anyone else is gonna get is a hearty firm handshake, IF their hands look clean. No elbow squeezing while shaking hands either. *shudders*
This evening...as I prepared for a handshake, I was drawn in for a hug, and while stiffening up manouvering myself away and out, I felt a kiss on the top of my head. I almost fainted. You ever hear of those billy goats that faint if you blow in their faces.. let me tell you, I can certainly empathize with those poor ol' goats.
Turrets hit and I stood there trying to collect myself, eyes moving to see if there were any witnesses, there were, and I just kept thinking, aw shit.. aw shit.. aw shit.. now I have to go home and boil my head! I tried to keep my eyes down so no one could see the expression on my face...I don't like to offend anyone...but there's a limit to what I can physically tolorate. Like.. you know how some folks just get deathly sick when they're stuck on an elevator with someone else who's wearing way too much perfume? Ugh! Don't touch me!
I can imagine the coroner standing over me now. Sighing, popping the rubber gloves off of her hands, shaking her head all knowledgable about this stuff...
"The poor woman, she succumbed due to a human touch right there on the small of her back. She must have suffered horribly... I wish I could say it was fast, but you know how touching deaths are, they linger on for hours, she probably writhed in agony that's why she's got that expression on her face."
Anyway...someone did that to me. In public. I'm going to have to stay inside for a few days, I need to rest. I need to take some time to recover.
Godamighty!
Just Godamighty. Shew. Ugh. Eech!
Posted by juel at April 30, 2006 12:10 AM