Alright. I've resigned myself to change. I can understand it's necessity, if you don't change, you stagnate. blah blah blah.
This tho, this new dot thing in phone numbers, as opposed to a dash, is driving me nuts.
Each takes one keystroke. So why the change? To make me crazy that's why.
Because it's fresh and new? More appealing? What the hell is up with this?
It's nothing more than something else to date me.
"Oh. Yes. I do remember back when they used the dash in phone numbers, instead of today's more slimlined dot."
Good Lord.
I can remember when there were only 6 digits in the phone numbers. Seriously. BUT WE HAD OUR DASH!
Humbug!
3 babies.. 3 Car Seats. Bonnie, Stan and Me. WE NEED A VAN!!
The movie comes out the 22nd. I was reading that it's going to be competing with Gothica. I want to see them both. Think it'll be a tie?
I've been seeing a commercial on television for this new medicine, called Strattera. It's for ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). The first time I saw this commercial, I saw the children and I thought, Woah, they look like they belong in a movie.. "The kids of the Stepford Wives", or Stepford Husbands and their Offspring"... On into the commercial I realized what it was advertising. Damn. Those kids looked happy, smiling, pretend active.. they looked like lil zombies doing what they were programed to do!
Good Lord.. Every time I've seen the commercial since, the kids look even more programmed to me. This is what we've come to. The government and Social Services stepping into our homes forbidding us to disipline our children with spankings, the kids get wild, uncontrolable, so put a title on it (ADHD) and give them medication to keep them calm! Our nation should have a new slogan.. not "Just Say No.", not "Talk to your kids, they'll listen." but instead:
" Don't spank 'em - Tranq 'em!"
Egads.
How do you catch a child molestor?
My daughter insists she was molested by my ex brother in law, when she was eleven. She didn't tell until she was seventeen, and my sister had filed for a divorce from this man, obtaining an epo which stated he couldn't come near her or her family.. Bonnie's reason for not telling until that time, was his threat "I'll kill you and put your body so far deep in the coal mines they'll never find you."
This threat of his has been made by him so often, that most anyone who knows him has heard him repeat one variation of it or the other. Even a police officer who was in that family heard him repeat it at a family dinner.
When Bonnie first told me what he'd done, I didn't question it, but phoned the state police right away to let them handle it. They questioned him, but he denied it. They set up a phone recorder, had Bonnie call him, and even though he thought she was in Mexico - a runaway - he didn't ask where she was, how she was, just 'what do you want?' and then when she told him she'd told us, his answer to her was "Don't start." and he hung up.
A police officer took some equipment to my sister's house to try to find seminal fluid on the carpet but found nothing. This had been 6 years previously, and the carpet has been cleaned many times since this happened to my daughter.
The alleged molester was a big man. A very overweight man, and yet he has a teeny little penis. He also has birthmarks in that area. My daughter was accurately able to describe size, marks, everything to prove what she was saying had happened. She satisfied the officers that he had actually done what she'd said he did, yet since it was her word against his, and she waited so long to speak up, the grand jury wouldn't indict him. They wanted more proof.
In the past, this man has also told us that if he ever had to take a lie detector test he would pass it easily. He informed us that all he had to do was to confuse the test by putting a thumb tack in his shoe, and press it down into his toe every time he had to answer a question. Too, he said he could take a valium and be so mellow he could pass one. Only in hindsight, did I pause to wonder why the hell he even bothered to mention how he could pass a lie detector test. Yes. Bonnie was in the room. I think now, that he was letting her know right there in front of her family that there wasn't a damned thing she could do about what he had done to her.
So how do we catch this guy? How do we get him indicted so that he can't do this to another child? There was nothing we could do.
His son used to have a rash around his bottom, rectal bleeding when he was from three to four years old. The doctors checked it and said he must have strained when having a bowel movement. Later, we learned these too were signs of child molestation. Still, even though there was also Bonnie's allegation, there was no proof. No eye witnesses. Hell, what sort of child molestor would do something so horrible in front of a witness who wouldn't be too afraid to tell?
During one of his visitations with his father this past spring, my nephew came back and while playing with his cousing, he grabbed his cousins privates while wrestling, and my sister caught them. She asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he was giving his cousin a "coal miner's hold". When my sister asked him who taught this to him, he replied that another cousin had while visiting his father, in the presence of his father, and that his father (the man who allegedly molested my daughter) told him that it was a coal miner's hold. My sister told him that he wasn't to touch other people's private areas, nor was anyone to touch his. She said that understanding lit in his eyes and after a couple of more visits he decided he wasn't going back up there anymore.
The thing is, he wouldn't state why. He refuses to say why. Is he too afraid of being killed and thrown deep into a coal mine where no one will ever find his body?
So tell me. How.. How do you catch a son of a bitch like this? So that it's not his word against the child's he's hurting? How?
You generally enjoy your dreams, both the dreaming process and analyzing them the next day. Tonight, however, you might have too many interesting dreams to keep track of - and while you'll probably recall the most significant ones, it may be frustrating for you to forget any of them. Do you keep a dream diary? If not, this might be just the day to start. Go to it - and have fun with it!
Let's see how close this comes.
G'nite World.
By now, you have to know, when I speak of my shadow, I'm talking about Mikyla.
Just typing her name here makes me smile. That youngin' makes me want to live no matter how rotten I'm feeling. It's like.. somehow, God gave me someone so wonderful to care for, that I feel guilty for being me. Guilty for not being a better person after having been given someone so absolutely perfect to love.
She's got so much life in her. So much curiosity, this zest just for everything she sees. She just lives. And lives hard. Her eyes never stop, her hands are always moving, she's constantly discovering things, testing things, learning and commenting on what she's learned. If i live to be 100, I seriously doubt she'll ever stop amazing me.
She likes to spend the night with me, and when she has to go home, she gets all watery eyed and tells her mom, "But if I go home, Mammy won't have no 'kyla."
That cracks me up.
Last night she wanted to spend the night...and Sarah let her.. she fell to sleep on the couch in the living room. Mallory fell to sleep there on the love seat. I covered them up, and since they looked comfortable, I just covered them with blankets and left them there.
I couldn't sleep for coughing so I just played around in my jewelry box, straightening chains, matching ear rings, and at about 3 a.m. here came Mikyla.
"Mams? What are you doing?"
"Nothing honey."
"Okay, I'll just do nothing with you." She answered.
She climbed up on my bed and went back to sleep for a little bit. Along towards 5 o'clock, she woke up and saw that I was still doing nothing. She crawled up to the top of the bed and said she wanted to 'tuggle' for a while. (snuggle)
We did, and watched television for a time.. and finally, long about 7:30, after trips to the kitchen for water, and to the bathroom for ..bathroom stuff..and to the kitchen again for a snack, then to the den for fresh pajamas she finally decided she was ready to go to sleep.
I got up first.. about 10:30. Mik and Mallory were still sleeping. I took two steps towards the door, and Mik's eyes flew open.
"Oh it's a beautiful day, Mammy!" She informed me as she hopped off the bed to follow me.
To the kitchen, for coffee..she had to have some too. Then to the front porch to see what kind of weather we were going to have. She had to see too. Every step of the way, there she was.. my little shadow.
Later, when her mom came to get her.. I slipped away from her. She was in the kitchen and didn't see me go sit on the porch. I sat on the top stair, in the sun, and didn't even hear her slip outside and up behind me. That little hand landed on my shoulder and she told me her plans for the day. She was gonna go home, but she'd come back after while. Her mommy wouldn't have a 'kyla if she didn't go for a while, but she was earnest in letting me know she'd be back
to stay all night with me. She started for the car, Sarah was ready to go. In a minute, she stuck that lil finger to her chin and said, 'wait mom, let me give mam's a hug.'.. here she came just a-gettin' it, towards where I was sitting on the swing, and gave me a big fat I love you up to the sky hug and kiss g'bye and told me again, she'd be back 'to-later'.
That didn't happen though. She fell to sleep on her way home from church, so she got snuckered. *laughs* Usually, when that happens, she won't speak to me for the longest time the following day - as if it's somehow my fault her plans didn't go according to her schedule. Those times, her eyes get all stormy and she looks like she's about to cloud up and rain all over me. Thank God, though, that doesn't ever last long. She can be bought!
I guess it sounds like I'm playing favorites.. that I have a 'pick' in this child. Maybe I do. I tell myself I don't, I tell myself it's just a first grandchild thing.
I tell myself and I really believe it, that it's not that I love her more, I just love her in a different way from the others. I really do believe that too.
In any case... I surely do enjoy my lil shadow. I surely do.
I've been so sick for the past few weeks, I seriously thought maybe it was gettin' close to my time to join the folks here on my webpage in their dirt naps.
Finally, tonight, I realized that I'd been feeling better for a few hours. What a relief! Now, it's almost 3:30 a.m., and I'm feeling even better.
If we can make it through this week alright, I think everyone and everything will be okay.
God, I hate rough patches, they seem to hit everyone at once. This has to pass soon.