Juel's Journal

Entries Copied From Easy Journal, 2002 -2003

Dec 5, 2002 - I'm not sure how many people could read this, but I don't think I'd be putting things here I couldn't let my mother read, so it doesn't matter anyway.

20 Days until Christmas.

That's sort of unbelievable. Seems like only a few hours ago Mikyla was splashing me with water from her wading pool. God time is flying.

Mallory is sick today, she has an upper respiratory infection, a terrible cough, but she's better than she was yesterday. Winter around here is awful for colds and bugs that keep the little one's noses running.

I'm doing housework, laundry, typical things today, it's amazing how much laundry 3 babies help to make. I can't believe how many towels and wash clothes we use every day. I need 8 more arms. I really do.

This site is pretty neat. I can even link photos. Thanks Jessica, for the url. I think your journal is pretty cool. Someday I will say I knew that youngin' when. :)

I'm going to try to do the bathroom walls in cloth later this evening. Instead of wallpaper. Red and White penstripe, for Christmas. Later we have to redo the bathroom and I really don't want to waste time and money on new wallpaper I'll just be tearing down after christmas anyway.

Mikyla is growing like a weed. A couple of days ago, she started saying "What?" to everything I say to her. I'm not sure whether or not to be concerned, as Sarah said she's been doing it to her for a month. I know Mik has had a lot of ear infections, and I worry they've hurt her hearing but Sarah said they've had her ears tested and she hears fine. Mik must just be going through a phase.

I guess I've blathered enough, I need to go get the kitchen cleaned up before Mallory wakes, I'm curious to know how I'll do with this online journal. I always meant to keep one but just never took the time.

D.!

Fri. Dec 6, 2002 - The week ends. In one way I'm so glad. I'm exhausted. Stan's tired too. The little ones have kept us hopping all week. But Lord when they're gone we both miss them so much. The house is like a tomb.

Sarah got city water today. That tickles me to no end. I really think Mikyla's skin will clear up now. I hope so, anyway. Mallory's upper respiratory infection is almost gone. She's still got quite a cough, but her runny nose was almost all gone. She ate good and was full of energy today.

Bonnie and Paul came over for dinner. We had roast and mashed potatos, rolls and cake. It was nice. They left to have the car fixed, I don't know if they're coming back tonight or not.

Mom seems to be doing okay, and she said dad is feeling much better today. Lisa is still coughing but lots better than she was. She and Nick were here last night, and he was busy looking under the tree for his Christmas present. It's hard to believe he's gonna be 9 next week.

Bonnie and Paul came in about 1 A.M. and ended up spending the night because the roads were icy when they started to leave. I was glad. That's dangerous.

I got her an appointment with a baby doctor next week, and she said she'll go. Let's hope so. I'd feel better knowing the baby is growing right and is healthy, and that Bonnie is getting good care and being checked regularly too.

Well, that's enough for tonight. I'll write more tomorrow maybe.!

Dec 10, 2002 - I had a terrible dream. I dreamed I was back in nursing school with Lisa and I got some kind of way bad cancer and I was dying. I started missing school, an hour here, a day there. I knew I was sick just not how sick, and when I found out, the cancer was creeping towards the last stages.

Shew, this dream was so damned realistic. Everyone took it hard, but Lisa took it the worst. I was constantly coaching her on how to get past my death.. telling her to not grieve like a dog, to go smoke in a different smoking area, make new friends that weren't 'our' friends. To not go through my locker or anything else at school she might think I stashed notes or letters, that I'd not hidden anything like that.

She just kept crying and crying. Talk about a desolate hopeless dream. When the time came that I couldn't control my bowels anymore, I told her I wanted her to be sure that my family put me in a nursing home.. that I didn't want them doing things like changing diapers on me and other humiliating things, I made her promise.

I wasn't afraid, until the last few days. In this dream I knew the exact day I was going to die. My funeral arraingments were already made, the plot was ready, even those little remembrance cards were already printed up.

I was standing outside, looking up at the sky - weak, sick, and I knew I had a little over 2 weeks left and I was all worried and scared about being cold. Winter was coming and I just knew I was gonna be cold in that grave.

Ugh, I think this was my all time least favorite dream.!

Jan 31, 2003 - Night before last I got a telephone call. This wasn't like any call I've ever gotten in my life.

My ex sister in law was on the other end of the line, and while I'd not heard her voice in over 15 years, I knew right away who it was.

She said, "Hey.. are you still into crafts?"

Well immediately I think of my afghans and hats made out of oatmeal boxes so I answered enthusiastically, "Sure I am!" I was surprised by her calling but not completely purplexed, as her mom had told me last week she has a computer for sale and wanted to know if I was interested in buying it. I waited for a sales pitch to kick in.

I was surprised though, when she lowered her voice and asked if I was on a portable phone.

"Yes, I am", I replied warily...suddenly thinking something was wrong with my daughter, Bonnie and ex-sis-in-law wanted to be sure to inform me in private.

"Do you want me to get on the stationary phone?"

"Yes." Relief flooded her voice, and my stomach began to nudge me 'be careful here'.

I obliged, got on the other phone and then waited for her to give me the bad news. Finally she spoke.

"I want you to put a hex on someone."

I sat there for a time, after I picked up my chin and put it back in place and then I said, "What?"

She repeated it. A bit more vehimently, "I want you to put a hex on someone for me. Someone who's harrassing me."

For a second I had no clue what she was talking about. Hex? Like a gypsy curse? So I inquired.

"What...are you talking about?"

"Brother told me. He told me you're a witch."

To that, I just cracked up laughing. I couldn't help it. I said, "Dear, he meant metaphorically, I'm sure. I'm his ex-wife. Therefore, a witch..."

She cut me off, insisting, "No! No, it's not like that. No! He told me you are a true and earnest practicing witch. He told me you spend time in graveyards with tape recorders, that you put silver into graves, that you're truly a practicing witch!"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I had done those things. I had taken silver to a grave, and I had gone into grave yards after midnight, I had gone and do go ghost hunting. I've always done things like that.

But... I am not a witch!

"So.. you think I'm a cauldron stirring, potion brewing, black hat wearing, demon conjouring, spell casting, witch?"

I tried not to let my voice get incredulous.

"Yes." She remained firm.

"You're mistaken. Honest. I like things like that, I like to investigate ghosts and the paranormal but I've never ever been a practicing witch, not ever.."

I thought for a moment and then I asked, "Are you into witchery?"

"Yes, but don't tell my mom" She seemed a little contrite. Almost apologetic at this admission.

"I won't tell." I meant that. Why would I tell her mother she's into dark witchcraft? I had no reason to do that.

Relieved to hear it she continued, "I won't lie about it. I am."

In my ear I could hear the unspoken words '...like you...' in her comment.

"I swear, I'm not lying" I insisted, "I am NOT a witch."

I continued, "Even if I were, I'd not put a hex on someone! That's just.. impolite!"

Despite my insistance that I'm not a witch, that there wouldn't be a hex performed, she went on to tell me which person she wanted hexed, her name, who this person was married to and then went on to ask if another acquaintance of mine (a wiccan) would do this deed for her.

Gently I told her no. "She's a healer. An herbalist. No. She isn't going to help you hex someone."

She made a little more small-talk, yes, we'd get together sometime. Yes, she knows where I live and then I hung up. I sat there staring at the phone for a moment, grading that as the most bizzar call of my life, and then I glanced over to see my husband standing there half smiling. He wanted to laugh. I knew that look.

"Shut up." I warned him, half smiling too.

"You handled that all wrong." he said.

I frowned and regarded him curiously..."Howso?"

He laughed and said, "Well... You should have told her.. small hex's are $19.95. A medium spell will go from 50 to 100, and if you want me to turn someone into a frog, well that's gonna cost ya..."

Feb 8, 2003 - *laughs*

I love those commercials for the revolutionary new "Mopping Systems"..

Someone must have been sitting around trying to come up with a way to sell a few million mops and decided to upgrade what they're called.. sort of like housewives became domestic engineers and trash men became sanitation engineers.

Mopping Systems!

Hell I was always thrilled to get a new 2 dollar cotton mop. Then I was beyond ecstatic when they came out with those cool ones you just pushed the lever down on and they wrung themselves, I didn't even have to touch that scalding hot water and get my hands dirty.

The thing is, I never could keep up with where I'd used them last. I've always spent half my time just LOOKING for my mop. I've lost more mops than I have lost car keys!

I STILL have trouble finding the damned thing, so I really doubt running out to buy a 20 to 120 dollar mopping system. If I pay that much for a mop(ping system), it's gonna have to come with little robotic arms and legs that use it for me!

"Honey, have you seen the mopping system?! I can't find it anywhere and I KNOW I put it right here behind the bathroom door!"

"I think it's out back at the patio - it was the last I looked..."

With a sigh, "The damned thing must have walked on over to Beulah's again..."!

March 6, 2003 - Part of an email from my high school friend:

Bill is still working at the prison and he's in the National Guard. He got the call from the National Guard that they were sending his unit to the middle east because of the Iraq war that is looming over us. He came home the other day after being called out , they told him he has about three weeks before he leaves . The problem is Turkey . Have you been keeping up with the news? Bill seems to think once they give the okay for troops to move into Turkey he will be leaving . He needs alot of prayer for protection. He's my sweetheart we have been together for 21years now . I don't want him to go but there isn't much I can do about that he talks like he is G.I. Joe and its his duty to go. He said he feels if we don't fight them there we will fight them here. Right now we are just playing the waiting game. You never know if he has a week or three before he leaves the army changes things so much. But he says he is for sure going to go.

--------

I pray this stuff comes to a gentle agreement and not this horror that is hanging over our heads. She and Bill have been together since high school, and she just lost her mother last year. I know she doesn't have any relatives here. Anyone reading this, please pray for Bill and all of the other service men and women out there.

March 9, 2003 - It was a beautiful day, the news weather said it would get up to 70 degrees so we got dressed, and I got my camera and batteries and disks ready and we headed up to my sister's house.

In the woods behind her place is an old forgotten cemetery. I wanted to go get some shots for my Dark Card Shop, so we walked up into the woods, and while I have a terrible cold, the sunshine sure felt nice.

We had to fight with briars, it seemed like no matter which way we took, briars and blackberry thorns were so thick I didn't think we were gonna be able to get through them to get to the cemetery. We tried to get in through several different trails, but the thorns were just miserable.

Finally we made it, and at the top of this hill, half surrounded by an old rusty wire fence, we found the graveyard looking much like it did when we went there last, about ten years ago. Leaves from the trees were everywhere, some of the old stones were totally buried in leaves.

I found that odd, because the trees surrounding and directly inside the graveyard are all dead. I looked for trees that might have blown leaves into the cemetery like they were, but all around, the trees are just dead and either rotten so that they turn to mulch when you press on them, or they just break off with a loud snap and fall.

I guess some of these that look dead and rotten are producing the leaves. One of them has to be.

I went through and took shots of all the stones, some of them have been toppled over, and we tried to stand one big monument, but it was just too heavy. The area is full of deer, and I'm guessing the deer try to scratch on the stones and end up knocking them over.

I love going up in there, but it did disorient me a little.. it's been a long long time since I was there last, but back then, it seemed to me that the graveyard was much farther back in the woods than it actually is. I laughed and teased Lisa that it was moving closer and closer to her house.

Rabbits and Deer were all over the place, but I didn't get any shots of them, by the time I got my camera out of the case they'd run off, and I didn't want to carry it up there in my hands, at the ready, simply because I'm too lazy!

I love some of these shots, they're dark and eerie and desolate, so I'm going to use a few of them on my card shop. When I finished taking my pictures, we went back to Lisa's for something cold to drink... and I thought I was gonna die from all that walking.. it was so hot, at least 80, in spite of the forecast, and I had a fever from this cold.

When we'd rested and visited a bit with Lisa and Nick, I thanked them for going up there with us, and we headed out to another old family cemetery where my great grandparents are buried. But I'm not going to put pics of that graveyard here, I'll save those for my webpage. Yesterday was a pretty fun day :)

March 25, 2003 - Most weekdays are hectic, but today wasn't so bad. It was actually a pretty sweet day. The babies were so good, they really were. The morning passed pretty fast, Acey seemed to sleep pretty good, though Gary said he was sick all night with a fever. The lil guy's teething, so we figured that's what was wrong with him.

This afternoon we took the kids to mom's to help do some yard work, and they were pretty good there too. Mom gave the girls a ride on the mower, but Acey just plain didn't act like he felt very good. I thought he felt fevery but when we got home, it was more than a thought, he was burning up. I don't have a thermometer, but that poor youngin was so hot he was past crying, he was just whimpering.

We called his mom but she wasn't home from school yet, so I gave him the advil his mom sent with Gary, but it didn't seem to help so I put him down in his little bathtub of lukewarm water to play for a while, and gave him ice water. He loves water - he sat there splashing for a good 20 minutes, and his fever finally felt like it was down to a safer temp. When she got out of school and came to pick him up, his mom took him to the doc. He has a virus :( ugh.. it'll go thru the family like wildfire.. we just all finally got over the last one.. and that took over a month.
Bless his heart.

Mallory was a doll. She kept giving me hugs and kisses and jabbered up a storm to me today. She tried to jabber to acey but ace wasn't having any of it. He can't like her. she keeps biting him when we least expect it and while we're trying to break her from it,
she's surely taking her time catching on. she got his little finger yesterday before any of us could stop her.

Mik. *laughs* Mik was Mik. She talked my ear off all day, hurried to 'hep' me with most anything I set out to do.. she's as fussy as an old mother hen.. god knows where she gets that from.. :) I had a rough day with the kids last week. One was screaming, One was crying, the other had the tv up full blast. The house was torn upside down, toys and chips everywhere - you couldn't move without falling over something..and I was tired, and trying to do laundry with my little shadow helping me and I went into the kitchen and suddenly felt like my shoulders were so heavy i couldn't stand up anymore. I just stood there shaking and I said, "oh god I can't do this, I just really really can't do this!" Well of course I could, and did, and forgot it, but Mik apparantly didn't. She was looking through her dvd's for a particular movie that wasn't in its case.. and said "mammy where is it" I told her to look by the television, that it had to be there someplace. As i watched her, she looked for her movie and then finally, in total exasperation, she threw up her hands, her brows furrowed just like mine.. and she put her little hands on her hips and mimicked me word for word. "I can't do this, I just really really can't do this! I thought I would die laughing. She does. She imitates every move I make and it fascinates the hell out of me.

She has her make believe glasses (a headband that's thin enough for her to see past) and puts them on, and goes around asking if we're hungry.. saying "I'm mammy, I'm gonna cook now, what do you want to eat..."
I say "Oh shit" a lot and she's taken that for her own catch phrase.. *coughs* and yes, i've been taken to task for it by sarah and have to watch that from now on...

On the way to mom's house this afternoon, we put mallory on one passenger side of the car, and we put acey on the other, and mikyla in the middle. I figure it's safer like that. Mik won't be as apt to try to pinch Acey's eyeballs out or bite him as Mal would if she was closer to him. All three were quiet. Acey had fallen to sleep, and Mallory was looking out the window and the ride was pretty enjoyable, when suddenly Acey set to screaming. I turned to see why and mik had this triumphant expression on her face, and was holding out her little index finger. I said "What did you do to him, Mikyla!?" she said, "mammy, he had a booger. I got it!" ugh! she picked his nose for him. *laughs* he didn't like that too well. ugh, kids will do anything!

We've all decided it's not really safe enough to take them to Disneyworld. So we took the money we were going to use for reservations and bought them a swingset for the yard. Not a little plastic one like the playskool one they have now, but a real one by Hedstrom.

Mik was so tickled about that, she didn't want to go home before they got back with it. She wanted to stay here and see her "pwee-mo" (primo) swingset as she calls it. She'll have to wait and see it tomorrow. She picked this one out all by herself, and I have to admit, it is primo. *laughs* it'll take until next summer to get it put together for her!

There's a helicopter circling the house tonight, those things make me nervous anymore, and I know it's just lifestar. I guess the war news just makes me nervous.

I've got a headache, and I'm sleepy, and I owe someone a letter, and I just am sleepy. I think I'll turn in early tonight, and maybe I won't feel bad tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna catch Acey's virus...I can't seem to get over one thing without catching something else back to back. The babies keep bringing in viruses and they keep sharing them with me, and my immune system has to be pretty much quivering with fear by now. I love the little ones, but I'll sure be glad when they get out of this 'catch everything coming or going' phase.

The latest on the ghost..

The something, anyway. This time, I'm wondering if it's an animal that's somehow gotten in that hides in the day and wanders thru the house at night. See...my dog stays right with me. I'm serious. She has to follow me into the bathroom, into the kitchen, outside, every step i make, she makes it too. she sleeps at the foot of my bed, and most night sounds don't bother her.

But sometimes, I hear footsteps walking to my door, and stop..and Jaz jumps awake immediately, stares at the door and starts into barking fits. I'll wait until I'm brave, then get up and open the door, but nothing is there. Jaz stands there whimpering, and I've tried to urge her to go out before me, but she flat refuses. When I go, she follows, but she sure won't go first.

I figure she'd wake Stan, but I guess he can't hear her from his room.

A couple of nights ago, I'd gone to bed, and I always lock my bedroom door, it's a habit I've just had forever. So Jaz jumped up on the foot and she went to sleep too...
along about 3 or 4 in the morning, I was awakened by what I thought was Jaz scratching on my door from the hall, wanting in. I sat up and was sort of disoriented, because I knew my door had been shut and Jaz had been here in my room. Well then, what then, was scratching at my bedroom door from there in the hall? It had to be Jaz. She must have gotten out, or I just thought she was in there before falling to sleep. But then I felt the bed move, and it was Jaz standing. I woke her when I woke up. The scratching hadn't awakened her, and she didn't bark.

I listened, and the scratching stopped, so I just went back to sleep. I dreamed though that Jazzy had gotten up and had gotten ahold of a roll of toilet paper here in my room, and she'd shredded it to bits.
I remember sighing in my dream and telling her that I couldn't deal with that kind of behaviour, that she'd have to come out of that business, or she'd have to go outside. I was concerned in the dream that she'd eventually find my computer wires and chew them to shreds.

The dream woke me, tho I don't know what time it was. Maybe 5 or so.. and I rolled over, looked at the floor, and dreaded cleaning up the mess, but there wasn't a mess, so I knew I'd been dreaming.

The next morning though... yesterday I think it was..
I went into the bathroom and Jaz followed me, and the wastebasket was toppled over and the tissue and drier lint that had been in the wastebasket was dragged out and onto the floor, as well as the wastebasket liner.

Jaz couldn't have possibly done that. She hadn't left my room. I know that for sure because she was right there when something had been scratching at my bedroom door.

The babies weren't here yet, so I know they didn't do it, and if it had been done by them the evening before I'd have seen it. I'd gone into that bathroom at least 20 times to get this or that, to check the drier, etc.. before I went to bed.

If it is an animal and not a ghost, it has to be pretty good sized. There's no evidence of mice or rats, and to be honest, I never heard of one scratching at a door trying to get into a room. Mom said maybe it's an opposum or a raccoon. That maybe it smells Jaz and that's why it tried to get in here.

Lord God above, if I stumble on something like that in here at night, I'll have a heart attack. I will. I tried to get stan to sleep with his door open last night.. *grins* I thought maybe if it's a beast instead of a ghost, it could occupy his time in the night for a change instead of mine and Jazzy's. but he wasn't having any of it. He told me no. The thing didn't scratch last night, but it did sound like it threw itself at the door, and it did growl, both of which were loud enough to wake jazzy and send her into a wild tizzy of a barking spree that lasted a good 20 minutes. And no. I didn't get up to see what the hell it was. I didn't want to know. Nuh huh. And it didn't wake up Stan. And neither did Jazzy's barking.

I looked for it today, I looked in every nook and cranny. I found absolutely nothing. The wastebasket in the bathroom wasn't touched in the night this time though.

The thing is.. unless it's knocked down the plate that covers the chimney to the fireplace.. I can't figure out how a racoon or 'possum could possibly get in. The windows are shut and locked. The doors are locked tight, and there aren't any other openings in the house anywhere. Not one. No way for an animal to get inside the house. the only other way i can think of, is if one of us have left the door open to bring in groceries, or carry in one of the kids and the thing just waltzed on in without our seeing it. but.. if that's the case. why can't i find it and why am I not finding any evidence that there's something in here. no pooh.. no food being eaten or bread bags torn, nothing..

it's gotta be the ghost. maybe. *laughs*

well, my head is telling me I've rambled enough. the soft thumping of a headache has graduated to a full blown throbbing white hot headache, so I'll stop now and maybe write more tomorrow.

world be safe. g'nite.

April 3, 2003 - I bother because - it drives lethargic people nuts. That's why.