When my time comes, I don't want to have the typical lay in the coffin funeral. I've decided after a lot of thought that I definately want to be cremated. I have several sound reasons for this.
I want to be buried in more than one place. I have several places I want to be at once, and it would be rather messy to ask to be dismembered for this wish to be granted. Not to mention, it just would look bad on all those tombstones...
"Leg of Juel..."
Left arm of Juel...
"Head of Juel..."
You get the jist.
I want a small gravestone at each place where I would like to have part of my ashes buried. My final internments will take a long long time, and while this is odd, it's not impossible.
I want my ashes divided into 12 equal parts, then a twelth of a teaspoon taken from each of those parts, which is to be placed into a locket and given to Sarah to be sent to the place I've prearranged for her to send it. The 12 remaining parts are to be placed in 12 urns, to be buried as follows:
Grave 1: Hutchin's Cemetery, next to my grandmother. For obvious reasons.
Grave 2 through 5: Four urns kept someplace dark and quiet, put away until the deaths of my grandchildren, then buried close to their own graves, some 75+ years from now. I've promised to always be with them, and I intend to keep my word.
Grave 6 and 7: Kept for burial in the future close to each of my daughter's graves. For obvious reasons.
Grave 8: Below my mother's grave. For obvious reasons.
Grave 9: Close to my sister's grave. For obvious reasons.
Grave 10: Private location disclosed to Sarah.
Grave 11: Private location disclosed to Sarah.
Grave 12: Private location disclosed to Sarah.
On the front of my 12 tombstones (marked at the top right engraved very small the numbers, 1 through 12) I'd like my name and birth/death dates... on the other side, one simple word on each stone.
Stone Number 1: "They
Stone Number 2: always
Stone Number 3: said
Stone Number 4: she
Stone Number 5: wasn't
Stone Number 6: all
Stone Number 7: there
Stone Number 8: and
Stone Number 9: now
Stone Number 10: she's
Stone Number 11: really
Stone Number 12: not!
Let some cemetery hopper from the future read these stones and try to figure out what the hell they mean.
*smiles*
I'm not kidding.
is in some sort of club at school called the Governers Cup. Lisa said he's really studying hard, from High School books, for the events involved in this group.
How about that?!
Will be going to school in Tennessee again soon. GOOOO YOU TWO!!
She's having some problems with this pregnancy. It's looking like she may be a candidate for Toxemia. Please keep her and the new baby in your prayers.
He's gone from being "Stanley Medicine"...the moniker Nick tagged on him when he was little and Stan was at the doctor all the time, to the "Dippy" name that the grandkids have tagged onto him.
He's looking old to me. Tired. He's been talking about his mom a lot this week...I guess it's because January is the anniversary month of her death. He and I went up to the cemetery last week and took down all the Christmas decorations we had up there. It won't be long now, and we'll be putting Memorial flowers there again.
Time doesn't slow down for anyone, does it.
We all went through another round of some kind of stomach virus last week. It wasn't serious, a 12 hour deal, but it was icky while we were sick. At least it was merciful, we didn't get it at the same time, it was one sick, one better, one sick one better... for days. It's finally gone now. Thank God.
Mikyla's hit her during the night last week. She was so sick it scared me. It seemed to hit her harder than it did the rest of us. She'd sleep 20 minutes and wake up being sick at her stomach for 30 minutes. After one brief bit of sleep, along towards 4 in the morning, she woke me up being sick at her stomach, just so sick, and I tried to move her to her side towards the trash bag, because there was no way she was going to make it to the bathroom... and she just moaned, and then she groggily said, "Oh Mammy, I wish I was back up to God with my Grammaw." She lay still for a few seconds then said, "My Grammaw made the best cookies..." She looked at me quickly, as if to reassure me so I'd not be jealous..."You make the best cookies down here, Mammy, but up to God, my Grammaw makes the best cookies."
I don't know...just something about her talking about going up to God in the middle of the night, when she was so sick...it scared me. I got no comfort from a Grammaw waiting up there who makes the best cookies. None at all. I guess I should have. I sort of believe it's mamaw that Mikyla's on about. But still...
I think that's who he's going to be. Sarah still swears she's going to stand by her promise and I get to name this grandchild, and as of last week, she had a sonogram from which the nurse is guessing, only guessing - that the baby is going to be a boy.
If so, I'll have my Jesse. Jesse & Joel, and Mallory & Mikyla.
Aren't those perfect names?
Three grandsons, Three granddaughters. How's that for a beautifully rounded number?
Didja ever see a frog go.. "riiibbit"..
Didja notice how it's throat bubbles out and looks like it's gonna burst when it does that?
I know why.
Because it's wanting to say something so bad it can taste it, but wont. It either feels like it shouldn't say anything, or it feels like if it does say something it will
be in trouble for the saying.
So it sits there, and this.. riiiibit escapes, and in a very brave attempt to keep it's mouth shut from saying more, it's very throat holds back the words until it's so full it almost pops.
That's what I need to learn to do. I've been standing in front of the mirror for hours just.. saying.. riiibit and watching to see if I can hold back the words. I know it's going to be a surprise to folks when my throat pops out, but I won't feel good about myself until I master this feat!
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBIT!!!
Don't lie to me and tell me you're okay when obviously you're not.
Lie when I ask if my butt looks big in certain pants.
Don't lie to me when someone's mistreating you. I'm going to find out otherwise, and I'm going to be more angry with you for the lie.
Lie to me when you don't want to do something I've asked you to do with me. Just say you have a headache, then go do what you'd rather be doing.
Don't lie to me when you're broke and hungry and tell me you're "just fine". When I find out, and I will, you can't understand how upset I get.
Lie to me when you taste my beefy-pork surprise and you just can't like it. Say, wow this is good, but I'm too full to eat anymore! I'll take some with me!
Don't lie to me when your car breaks down and you don't have a ride because when I find out you ended up walking or hitching a ride with a stranger it makes me crazy.
Lie to me when I ask you if you like my new purple and orange quilt that clashes with everything in any of our homes.
Don't lie to me when your hurting so bad inside that it's leaking out your eyes.
Lie to me when I ask your opinion about my new 5 toned hair color.
Don't lie to me when it matters.
Lisa loaned me her playstation and a few games, and yesterday I hooked it up and sat down to play Banjo and Kazooie with Mikyla. Mercy! The child took to that like a duck takes to water.
She'd alternate between yelling with excitement, "Mammy help me! Kill that carrot! Kill the troll!! Oh NOOOO Mammy help me get him out of the water!!"
One minute we'd be laughing hysterically, the next I'd be trying to console her as she downright wept real tears of frustration and anger.
We played that game all day off and on yesterday, and finally at midnight we stopped and came in here to get ready for bed. Mik decided she wanted to hook it up here and play for a while, I did so, but then she made ME play it while she watched, because we'd advanced by then into the witches house, and it was spooky in there!
She finally let me turn it off about 1:30 or so, but then she insisted I watch Kim Possible with her. Eye Yi Yi! I told her if I didn't get to watch something grown up on tv, at the very least something that wasn't a cartoon, my brain was going to turn to mush! She said she might let me watch "Family Ties" today, but no 'news'.
That kid is something else!
She and I were napping when Sarah came in last night, so Sarah didn't get her up to go home, but Mallory did go home for the night. She'll be back later this morning though.
For the most part, we're all over the bronchitis.. it's left us ALL with slight coughs, but nothing we can't handle. Maybe by next week we can start getting out and doing things again. I'd like to take them to Chuck E. Cheese in Lexington one of these days. They've never been there. Wish we had one here!
Mom's birthday is on the 27th. *laughs* Reckon she'd like to celebrate it at Chuck E. Cheese?
Happy New Year's Everyone!
I can remember being 11, keeping a diary as most girls that age do. Mom had just explained the facts of life, and had told me to keep a log of my periods, to be sure every month I was regular, and thus "okay".
I recall carefully making pages and pages of charts, listing all 12 months of every year from then until the year 2005. I remember doing the math and thinking, wow, I won't need to list them for then, by then I'll be ancient, in my 40's and most likely even DEAD!
*laughs*
I don't know what happened to that journal, but if I could tell that child, (Hey! I can tell her! She lives in me!) I'd say, "Kiddo, you lived, you're older, not ancient, and for the most part things turned out alright."
I am not the child psychologist I remember wanting to be back then, but at least I'm not the "dead" I figured I'd be by now.
2005.
I've seen a lot of changes in the world, and in my life. I got to see the mass production of VCR's, Microwave Ovens, Cordless Telephones, and Pleather, among hundreds of other things.
I saw the fall of family values and the rise of bad manners. Children shooting children in their schools, a huge surge of drug and alcohol abuse, the Catholic church get in trouble for harbouring so many child molesting priests.
I've seen a busy, seemingly selfish world stop and help each other time and again through man made tragedies such as 9-11 and natural disasters such as earthquakes, floods and the tsunami in Asia.
On a more personal level, I've seen one of my daughters rise up and be strong and self sufficient. I've downright laughed (can we say "cackled") with pride while watching the girl make up her mind that she's not putting up with any man's shit, (or anyone's for that matter) and mold her life to suit herself and her son, and I pray, PRAY that she continues to do so, and live life on her terms, and not be miserable while trying to please someone who can't be pleased, or appease his family, feed his dogs, or keep his underwear and pick up truck(s) clean.
I've seen my other daughter begin to reap nice benefits and recognition at her job. She's going to have another baby in early summer of this year. Did I tell you I get to name it? I do! I've seen her grow as a person, taking good care of herself, she has the prettiest long hair, her nails are beautifully manicured, and she has the most gorgeous house of anyone in the whole family.
I got to see my grandchildren thrive and grow...and what's more, I got to spend a lot of time with them, learning who they are, and what they like and don't like.
I've seen my nephew grow and do well in school, he's smart as a tack!
I watched as my sister became self reliant, and what's more, I got to see a shy, insecure woman turn into a beautiful and confident person, who just radiates contentment with her life.
I've watched my parents prosper and live happily having both their health for the most part and the finances to enjoy themselves and their family.
2004 was a hard year for a lot of people, but it was a pretty damned good year for me.
2005, Lord, let it be kind to all of us.