Juel's Journal

Oh! Speaking of Old Age..

I'm sorry. This is course. It's ugly. It's .. truth.

When I was young, I heard how it is when we age. Women, I heard, just start wrinkling, sagging, becoming more and more unattractive as we age, while men, age gracefully.. their stomachs getting paunchy was said to be a sign of success, the salt and pepper hair, distinguished... so that while women just wear out.. men become more appealing.

I don't know how guys feel about older women, but I'm here to tell ya, that stuff about older men, it's lies. It's just flat lies. I see these old men and I look and I have to make a conscientious effort not to wrinkle my nose. I have to really try hard to put on a poker face and not one of total disgust and I have to choke the internal tourettes hard, because I just can't keep from seeing their own saggy eyes, saggy boobs, saggy cheeks, zero ass, and on those guys wearing loose jeans, yes, even their saggy old balls knocking against their knees! YUCK!

So whoever started that rumour.. you're a sick and twisted person. To make women feel so bad about getting old, and to try to make a man feel like .. they're yummy.. when they really do get quite disgusting, just was so very wrong of you!

Shame on you! *laughs* Sorry guys. I'm really sorry.. but.. truth is truth and we women have known it for years, you really deserve to know it too! I'm so sorry!

Today...

I talked to Brenda tonight. She's doing ok, not as bad hurt by falling as I had thought, thankfully. She's wanting to try the pokeberries even tho the seeds are toxic. She said the pain is so bad sometimes she'd be willing to try anything. Maybe they'll work for her. I sure hope so. She promised me to ask her doctor about them first.

She said that Shelly's computer is dead. Virused.. I bet anything it was all those joke files! Amanda, stay away from porn and joke files!!

Lisa brought in this awesome silver, metal make up case, full of make up that she'd bought for someone for Christmas. I saw it and coveted it so hard, but not near as hard as Mikyla and Mallory did. I never saw them go as crazy over makeup as they did that. They conned her into giving it to us. *laughs* The case made a really nice paranormal kit case.. I put some styrofoam in it, and lisa cut out forms for our emf meter, tape recorder, infrared light, thermometer, it's too cool! There's room for battery packs, ink pens, anything else I want to take, really. We're going to go out tomorrow. Maybe we'll bump into a ghost or two someplace. Wouldn't that be neat? Maybe I'll be able to talk mom into going too. :)

I got a mail last week from an intern from Stuff Magazine in New York. She saw the globe monument I have on a section of my site here and said she was thinking about mentioning it in an article they're working on involving unique tombstones. If they use it, she said she'll plug my web site in the article. How cool is that?

We have 4 youngin's staying all night tonight.. Mikyla, Mallory, Acey and Breanna. I think tomorrow I'm going to see if Sarah will bring Maegan, and Bonnie will bring Joel, and get some pics of all of them around the Christmas Tree.

I told Stan and Sarah yesterday that I want a graveyard for Christmas. He's seeing what he can do. Between he and Sarah, I think they might make it happen. If they can't get me a graveyard, I want a coat-tree.

*coughs*

Yeah, yeah, I'm not hard to please. I already know where it is (the graveyard, not the coat-tree.) It's in pretty rough shape, toppled stones, trees broken and laying over on the graves, some of the graves have stones that broke and fell aside and you can see in them, where the dirt has caved in.. it's a real mess, brambles, weeds, even a pile where someone's been burning trash in the middle of it. It seems so wrong. I just want to clean it up and keep it clean. So far though, no one seems to know who owns it. I'm curious, because someone was just recently buried in it, I wonder who gave the okay.. We'll see...

I'm having a hard time growing old(er). It's really bothering me to know that Mom and Dad are easing into their 70's, that my aunt is almost crippled with arthritis, that Mikyla lost her first tooth. A lot of things that are just pointing to the geriatric chair for me, and it isn't that far from happening. 20, 30 years fly by. They really do.

Lately, when I talk, or.. try to talk, my words get all tangled. Not like the ol' stutter that's accompanied me through my life when I get in front of folks I don't know well, but more like.. what I always thought in my mind was early senility when I was younger and heard those 'older' people talking like this.

The other day I was trying to concentrate on what Mikyla was saying to me.. and Joel was doing something that I was trying to get him to stop doing. This feeble old mind of mine can't even remember what it was he was into now, but I do remember what came out of my mouth.

I meant to respond to Mikyla by saying something like.. "Well isn't that just something else!" But.. what came out was... "Well isn't that a terrible financial situation."

The second it was out of my mouth I whipped my head around, checking to be sure first, that no one who had a clue what I just said was around, and second looking in hopes that someone else said it, not me. Isn't that a terrible financial situation? (More internal Tourettes:) Where the fuck did that come from?

Stan popped his head from the kitchen and just looked at me. I had the sneaking feeling he too recognized the sign right then of senility creeping up on me. Sheesh. Helplessly I just threw up my hands and shrugged. I told him.. hell, I don't know where that came from, I just don't.

I was talking to Lisa about it tonight and she said that lately she's been doing it too.. talking nonsense, just her brain thinking one thing, her mouth spouts out another. She said she told Nick to get the clippers the other day, and cut his "toenuts". *laughs* I said well afterwards did you two go out for coffee and donails? Ugh, old(er) age is a bitch.

Poor mom. That woman has tried for 2 days to hang curtains. She keeps tangling herself up in them and what's been taking so long is that she has to be careful climbing down from the step-stool. She said that she put so many holes in the wall it'll take a week to patch them. She couldn't get the curtain hanger straight. Tomorrow, Mom! You'll accomplish the feat tomorrow!

Ladies, if you want to know the truth. If you really want to know, I'm almost certain it's not that we're getting old. We're not going senile at all. It's that the men in our lives have finally succeeded in driving us stark raving mad!

Mom says Dad's deaf, he insists she is.. Example of a Conversation between Dad:

Mom: What do you want for supper?
Dad: mumble, mumble, mumble.
Mom: (Louder) WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR SUPPER?
Dad: MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE!
Mom: (Even Louder) WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR SUPPER YOU DEAF BASTARD???!!!
Dad: I TOLD YOU THREE TIMES I WANT A HAMBURGER!!

*laughs*

Only kidding, they ..okay they really do go back and forth like that but that's actually a joke someone told me the other day. I thought it was cute. Sorry mom, used you for a joke, I'm ASHAMED of me!!

But.. now I'm going to tell you all a joke that mom told me the other day. I couldn't believe it, she just.. spang came out with it and it cracked me up. If you're embarrassed by racey jokes, don't read this.

She was sitting on the chair beside me and she started fanning her legs, while she told the joke. She said that this loose woman went out and bought herself a pair of crotchless panties. She put them on anunder her skirt and went to a bar and sat there, fanning her legs, and smiled at the guy she was flirting with, and she asked him.. "You want some of that?" He blinked, and shook his head "no", furiously and replied, "Hell no, look what it did to your panties!"

*laughs*

Mom, you're something else.

Well, it's time to go for the night. Sleep well world. Be safe!

Mik's Tooth.

She lost it today, her first one. She was so thrilled! I meant to get a pic but ended up forgetting because Lisa came over and Mikyla was busy playing with Breanna and Acey and Mallory and the time just slipped away. Before I knew it it was almost 11:30 and Mik had fallen to sleep on the couch. I'll get one tomorrow. The tooth fairy left her five bucks under her pillow.. I can't wait to see her reaction in the morning.

Kids All Week...

I've barely had time to look up!

I'm trying to remember cute things that were said, but the only thing that comes to mind right now, is Mallory asking me to put her 'reodorant' on her after her baths.

We made cupcakes for Mikyla to take to school for the kids' snacks today.. she was so excited.. "Oh Mammy, I can't believe this is my first cupcake day!"

I made both chocolate, and white, in case any of them were allergic to chocolate. Mik, hands on her hips informed me that they all loved chocolate, that the white cupcakes would go to waste. After school, we asked her what they thought of her cupcakes and koolaid, she said, "Mammy, they didn't even say thank you!"

*laughs*

She went on, clearly purplexed..."You know some of them weren't even allergic to chocolate, but ate the white ones instead? I don't know why, but they did!"

Obviously she can't fathom anyone choosing vanilla over chocolate, on purpose. I can't understand that one myself, Mikyla, sweety!

Sarah took Maegan home while ago, we kept her a while this evening, but all she did was sleep. (Between the other kids running into her swing, and Joel leaning over her cooing.. "hewwo, bacon!" "HEWWO, BACON!". ) Kelly and Bonnie picked up Joel a couple of hours ago too. Kelly wanted to spend some time with him tonight.

We bought "Madagascar" for them, but they don't seem to be too interested in it. I've had it on for them three times, but I couldn't tell you what the heck it's about.. and they couldn't either.. 10 minutes into it they were up and running, wrestling and playing, it doesn't hold their attention.

Acey is sleeping, he's going to be here for the night, and Mikyla and Mallory are in the kitchen eating dinner. Again. They get so hungry at night. A snack won't do. *laughs* They have to have a 2nd dinner.. or.. as Mikyla warned me.. "...Mammy, if you don't feed me again, you'd better make me a mighty big lunch for school, cuz I'm hungry!"

Biding Her Time...

Trinity

Just Some Pretty Pictures...

Oh! This is the last picture taken of Mikyla with all of her baby teeth!

Getting Ready

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

The Portals of Hell...

...Opened in the Den Today, and Spewed Forth Demons.

Just you click here and look at those eyes!

*laughs*

Demons

I'm teasing. They're not really demons, but those eyes, yikes!!

Canadian Boy is Miffed

They Want Their Money Back

I went to see just what the NAFTA Agreement was, but as usual, it'd take a brain to be able to understand the document, and the link showing which tarrifs still stand doesn't work.

FAQ

I just can't see our dear ol' Prez cheating Canada, or anyone else, can you?

The kid's boycotting Canadian owned and operated Mcdonald's Restaurants to make his point. That aughta teach us.

Sarah...

Be careful on that road in the morning! And dress warmly, it's going to be cold out there. And brush your teeth and wash behind your ears. *laughs* ...and don't talk to strangers...

Love ya.

Lydia...

It was good to see you this evening.. I talked to Kelly, he's up for it on Saturday, and is going even though Bonnie has to work. I'll see if Sarah will go, and we'll plan it for Saturday, because that's the best time for Lisa to be able to join us - she can't go Friday because she has to be at work early Saturday morning. Is Chuck going to go with us? Talk to you tomorrow! Love ya!

Kid Update...

I'll start from the smallest and work my way up.

Maegan is doing just fine. She still has a cough from time to time, but it's finally easing up on her. Yesterday we got a scare though.. Stan was holding her, and while he was rubbing her little head, cooing to her, he found a lump on the back of her head. It's about the size of an olive, and feels like one of those pump knots that kids get when they get a bump on the head. Sarah panicked and took her to the E.R. There's no discoloration around the lump, no booboo, nothing. The lump, it turns out, is just part of poor Maegan's misshapen skull. She's officially a true knothead. *laughs with relief* The doc assured Sarah that Maegan's just fine and her little head will form correctly as she gets older. Thank God.

Joel is something else. Ever watch Friends? Remember how Joey on that show would see an attractive woman and lean against a wall or strike a pose, grin and then say in what he considered his 'sexy' voice, "How ya doin'?" I swear to you... Joel did that exact same thing to the lady at Sonic who brought out our order the other day. Then to the lady at the window of Krystal's yesterday. The lady from Sonic's didn't react to him, but his smile and flirtatious manner with the one from Krystal's scored him 2 free packs of Oreo cookies. Men. Even baby ones! Sheesh! *laughs*

Mallory wasn't feeling well for the past few days. When she came over night before last, the kid looked so bad to me, it scared me. Her little ribs were sticking out and she looked half starved.
Sarah took her back to the doctor yesterday, she'd lost 2 pounds in a week with that horrible 24 hour virus that Mikyla brought home from school last week. As an added bonus, she has Strep, and her little throat was just raw.. After the new round of antibiotics she started yesterday though, she's back to her normal self.. eating everything in sight, talking up a storm, (yes, still chattering at the walls when humans get tired of listening) so Thank God again, she's getting better. :)

Acey isn't with us this week, he's with his daddy. But he should be back next week. He was a doll last week though, he seemed to have a good time while he was here, and he didn't have so much as a sniffle! (Thank God)

Mikyla is Mikyla. She was feeling a little tired this evening when Sarah took her home. She hates mornings, they seem to suck the very life out of her. She's doing so well in school, I just can't believe it. She's read 2 books to me now and I'm as proud as can be of her!

Breanna spent the night last Friday night, and on Saturday we went out and got some leaves and stuff and made placemats. She had a good time and said we needed to do it more often. I don't know if she's coming back this weekend or not.. but I do know that I need a picture of her in it with the other 5 kids too. She's not been here when the rest of them are and when she was, they weren't. Bleah. She wasn't sick either. Not even a sneeze! Thank God!

Nick is doing VERY well in school. He's an official member of our Paranormal Investigation group, and he played sick on Halloween day. I say played because I don't believe he was really sick, I think *laughs* he just wanted to lay on the couch all day and watch the Halloween Horror movies on TV. I don't blame him, it's the only time TV gets good around here!

Bonnie, Honey..

We drove by just now to see, but didn't come in cuz I was too lazy to change back out of my jammys, but I wanted to see the lights. They're BEYOOOOTIFUL! It looks so warm and cozy, I want to spend Christmas there! Nice Job!! Your phone's busy so I thought I'd tell ya here. :)

Meli!?

You posted those pics, and now I'm so curious who they are, they're beautiful.. and now I have to wait for days...maybe weeks to know who they are...Is the little girl mylov's daughter? Who are they? Whoooo? What's up with making me wait like that? What's the deal! *laughs* No fair, none at all!

Movies...

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was so neat! I do so love Johnny Depp. I disagree that he's the sexiest man alive, or in the states or whatever it was he was voted sexiest at, but I sure do love that guy's acting. He's too cool!

The Oompa's (that lil Deep guy) were awesome, (Deep and Depp - how cool is that?) and I love how they added to the story to explain why Willy is so excentric.

I'm glad we bought the movie, the kids are gonna watch it now until we know every line by heart.

Mom...

I'm glad you're still alive. I was scared. The bird just worried me to death. That and all the other stuff going on. Doors opening... Those VOICES IN MY HEAD TELLING ME TO..

*coughs*

I'm just kidding... well, okay, about the doors opening by themselves..

*laughs*

No, about voices.. really. I don't hear them anymore.

*laughs!*

Okay, I have never heard voices, I'm teasing, but really, I'm glad that blasted sparrow didn't bring anything bad with it when it got into your house yesterday. Ugh, that old superstition makes me nervous. Please, don't walk under any ladders and stay away from black cats for a few days...I beg you!

Jana!

Haven't you had enough vacation yet? I miss you! You've been gone for 200 years, come baaaaaaaaaaack, already!! *laughs* How much beach can one person take?! I'm just reminding you to come home for your own health and well being! Too much salt water makes us melt! I know this for sure! Because my mom melted on the beach right in front of me, summer before last! Come baaaaaaaaaack!

Shelly. Amanda.

*puts her hands on her hips, lifts her brow and taps her toe, waiting*

That was SO not cool.

*drums her nails for emphasis.*

Mikyla, Today

This child is something else. Getting her up in the morning is harder, I think, than it would be to truly pull a wisdom tooth from the mouth of a hen. I have to literally lay on the bed, put my arms under her armpits, drag her over and on top of me then push myself out of bed, hanging onto her for dear life, get her standing on top of my feet then move her that way into the kitchen, to get her up. *laughs* That's no easy feat either, let me tell ya.

Lately though, she's been getting up eagerly. Those eyes pop open and she grins and warms her hands, and heads to the kitchen to get "Candyland" ready. She beats me soundly, 2 games, then happily gets dressed and cheerfully goes off to school, I'm sure, to brag to her friends that she whipped up on me yet again. *sighs*

I really gotta practice up on my "Candyland".

Haircut

Aha, I finally got one I like! Just noting the date for future reference. :)

Safe and Sound

The storms that were so bad missed us last night, thank God. I woke up, heard the news, and when they said the tornados even killed horses at Keenland, I couldn't believe it. I sat up late last night watching Saw, and the wind was blowing pretty hard when I finally went to bed. I never dreamed we had tornado warnings though, I wasn't watching the news.

Those poor people, those poor animals. Sheesh what's up with this weather?

I'm going to sleep, my head's pounding. G'nite, world.

Saw

WHAT a MOVIE!! Egads!!!!

Wanna Know What a Failure is?

1. Go to www.google.com
2. Type in the word failure without quotes, just the word itself
3. Hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button and see what shows up

Thanks Seth, that was hilarious!!

Ghosts.

I believe in them, but like God, I can't get them to answer me directly. Ohh sure they let me know they're there, but instead of riddles, they just give me a wisp of a peek, enough to keep me from giving up the hunt.

Mom, now mom has a repoir with them. She won't admit it, she doesn't acknowledge it, but time and again, they seem to gravitate to her. I've been trying to get her to go out on an investigation with me forever, and tonight she finally agreed. She will. Someday.

We were there visiting tonight, and just got to talking about ghosts, about the older people we knew who've passed away, who could tell some ghost stories that would make the hair on the backs of our necks stand up. Naturally, we got to talking about her mother and the ghost stories she used to tell. Lisa and I listened again, and learned a new one, where Mamaw saw her best friend who'd just passed away just days earlier - dancing around a porch column, like children do a maypole. She said it scared mamaw.

Then we got to talking about the guy up at the cemetery. I've searched and hunted, recieved mail from a lady who had the geneology on the family, there was no sister. I'm getting ahead of myself. I've not written this on my site before, so I will now.

I've had this page posted on my site for over a year now...

John H. Austin

Now the explanation..

My grandmother used to have us kids put flowers on this man's grave. It was important to her that he have something there on decoration day. He obviously was a soldier, and no one ever put anything on his grave. She'd said that he must not have any family, and so we just always put something on his grave when we went up there.

After Mamaw (my grandmom) passed over, we kept doing it, one of us would take something to his grave, and between us, we made sure it was never bare.

A little over 2 years ago, mom was up there putting flowers on mamaw's grave, and she said that no one was in the cemetery but her, and dad. She said that she sat on the bench and was just looking at mamaw's headstone, when a woman just was standing there. Mom assumed that this woman came from the back of the cemetery, and had been there unseen and just walked up to her from there. She didn't come from the only entrance (the cemetery is totally fenced in) which was behind mom and to her right.

Mom said that this woman was dressed in blue jeans, and a long sleeved flannel shirt. She said that this woman looked to be in her early to mid 60's. She said that this woman motioned over to Mr. Austins grave, and asked mom, "Do you know who keeps putting flowers on that grave?"

Mom said she smiled at the lady and said, "yes, my family does that." She went on to explain why.

The woman wasn't happy. She pointed behind her, and said, "That man is a murderer. He killed my sister. I'd appreciate it if you didn't put flowers there anymore."

Mom said it shocked her and she apologised, and the woman told her, "Yes, he's a killer, that's why his grave used to be outside the fence."

Mom promised this woman we'd not put flowers there anymore.

Last year, I was up there, walking around, reading the stones and my eyes fell on Mr. Austin's stone. Sp. Am. War. My mind begain chewing over what mom had said, and I came home and checked the date on that war on my computer.

On April 25, 1898 the United States declared war on Spain following the sinking of the Battleship Maine in Havana harbor on February 15, 1898. The war ended with the signing of the Treaty of Paris on December 10, 1898.

1898.

John H. Austin was a soldier in the war in 1898.

The more I chewed on it, the more curious I became.

I went to the library and looked at the old newspapers on microfilm at the library. I figured if he killed someone, it would be there. I was right. It was.

He shot his step daughter to death. I found her name in the article and then went back to the cemetery and found her grave. It's not far from his.
They died on Friday May 22, 1936. He was 59 and she was 20. Which meant she was born in 1916. Quite a ways back. Too far back it seemed to me to have a sister in her 60's a couple of years ago.

So I made that web page, to ask for information about this man and his family. I got a response from someone who looked their geneology, and found that Geneva didn't have any sisters, but had one brother. She said that she couldn't find any other children born to Mary.

So...

Who did mom talk to that day?

I need to go find out what Mary's mother died from. But more importantly, I need to find out who her sister's are, and if they're still alive, or if they've died. Mary, Geneva's mother was born in 1891 and lived to be 57. She passed on 12 years after her daughter and husband.

Dad didn't see this lady. He was right there with mom, didn't hear the conversation, didn't see the lady.

When it was over, the lady was gone just as quietly and suddenly as she had appeared.

Mom hadn't known Mr. Austin used to be out of the fence until speaking with the woman. She hadn't known he murdered his step-daughter, she hadn't known he murdered anyone, just like the rest of us, she'd always thoguht he was just a man killed in an old war, until she spoke with this lady at the cemetery. None of us knew.

I just can't see how anyone could still be alive and be a sister to ANY of them, looking like she's in her 60's a couple of years ago.

Personally, I think mom spoke to a ghost. I think she thinks she did too.

This woman mom spoke with knew that Mr. Austin had been outside the fence.
That had to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day. 60's my eye. I bet she passed over in her 60's.

Here I am, out hunting, searching, lifting up rocks to look under for ghosts, and she has one walk spang up to her and chats with her. Oh yes, I'd love to have her go on an investigation with me. I bet a donut we'd get something good documented if she'd go with me.

Dinner & a Couple of Movies Tonight

I made a really good dinner tonight.. pork chops, mashed taters, the works, and Bonnie and Kelly came to eat and brought some movies. No one else would come near the place to eat because they figured they'd get sick too.

We watched House of Wax, and I really liked it. I think Vincent Price would be proud of it. I've been in a couple of wax museums, and dang they're eerie. I wonder if any nutcases out there really did use live people to make their wax 'figures'? Shew!

We watched National Treasure too, that was pretty good as well. I thiink my dad would like that one.

They left Saw for me to watch tomorrow, I love the case the dvd came in, I want to buy it just for the case. *laughs*

Breanna and Acey are spending the night tonight. They're both sleeping now, they're the 'Sunshine' kids, they get up at the break of day. Sooo early!

Mikyla had a sleep-over tonight. I hope they're all having a good time. Sarah's got her hands full. Mik wasn't hard to get up for school this morning. She got up, dressed, ready for her day with little prodding from me. Joel and Mallory were here too and she was dressing to impress them. Whatever works! :)

Okay world, it's bedtime. G'nite! Sleep tight!

Now Joel...Bonnie...and Kelly

are sick. Fooey, it never ends!

Shopping Tomorrow..

I want to go for a change. I want to start my Christmas shopping!

Haunting TV Shows..

I love to watch these, but GOD they make me crazy. I wish that blonde woman would STOP screaming and running and that they'd take the camera off of her and show us what the hell she's running from, so afraid!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rotten Dream About You Last Night Mom..

I dreamed that I was going into the hospital for some kind of surgery. There were 3 men, and 1 woman ahead of me, everything was supposed to go fast, so I was prepped, they put in a catheter and had me laying in one of those blasted beds, iv in my arm.. and you were out in the waiting room with Mikyla and Mallory. Every once in a while they'd peek in to see me, I'd wave at them and they'd go back out and I assumed sit with you.. but then all of a sudden a paramedic came wheeling you into that room. Those of us who were waiting for the surgeon were lined up at the top of the room, and you were directly at the bottom of my bed, your gourney facing the same way mine was.. I could see everything he was doing. You were grunting and crying out, NO... and then he'd put his arms under you and flip you over onto your tummy then he'd start slapping on your back. You were going into fits, begging him to stop, but he kept insisting that if he didn't do that you would die, that you were having a heart attack and if he didn't keep pumping the heart, you didn't stand a chance. I glanced over at the door and there stood Mik and Mal looking terrified, and I kept trying to get someone's attention, to tell them that the girls were out there alone without an adults supervision, that you had been with them.. but no one would listen to me. I tried to get up and a nurse knocked me back and said for me to stay still, that the surgeon was done with the men and it would soon be my turn, for me to stop being so nervous. When I turned my head to check back on you, you were gone, gourney and all. I came up out of that bed and started screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to get me my granddaughters that were in that waiting room and get them to me NOW.. finally a young nurse brought them in to me and they climbed up on my bed and was just laying there with me, waiting, eyes huge, we didn't know what had happened to you, no one would tell us. It pissed me off and when the surgeon finally did come in, she saw the girls and ordered them out. I told her they weren't going anywhere, that they'd been out there with you but that you'd had a heart attack while you were in the waiting room and they had no one to watch after them. I told the surgeon it would have to wait, to go on to the next patient until I could find someone to pick up the girls and I'd know they were okay.. then I started questioning her.. what kind of surgery am I having, anyway.. I couldn't recall a health problem, or a reason for the surgery, I wasn't even sure what they were going to do to me.. She just placated me like I was one stupid person.. there there, it'll be over before you know it, and you won't be in much pain, you can go home first thing in the morning. These girls will be just fine in the waiting room. When she said that I knew I had a nut for a doc, so as soon as she ran them off of the bed and back into the waiting room, I got up and broke the catheter hose to go get the girls and go try to find you. but nurses stopped me at the door between surgery and the waiting room but too, standing there was someone who used to come in the store. A big fat guy, but he used to be skinny...and he was checking in on his aunt who was the other female patient. The nurses were pushing me back towards the bed, and I could see mik and mal sitting on those chairs waiting, and they were bickering over a magazine and I started begging that guy to watch them.. I told him the surgery would take a few min's..that it wouldn't be long and I would give him 50 dollars if he'd just watch them there in the waiting room for me until I was back out and awake. He agreed. But.. the surgeon had been called someplace on an emergency, she told us she'd be back as soon as possible and she apologised. I caught the nurses not looking and I got up and went to the door and looked out in the waiting room and there was only like 3 people left out there, and the girls were there, no one with them, that guy had left who had said he'd watch them. I got my purse, left my clothes in a pile and I went out into the smoking area, took the girls with me, hoping to find someone who could take us home. Dad was sitting at a table smoking out there, and I was so relieved.. I said dad! Where have you been? Where's mom, how is she.. he just motioned that you were off someplace in the gift shop, that you'd be back in a bit. I looked around and lisa and nick were at another table, lisa was smoking and I sat there, had the girls sit at the table with dad and I told her what happened to you and she said huh, well unless that happened in the last 5 minutes mom's fine she went to the gift shop to get you some flowers.. I said no, she's not, she'd never leave these girls out there alone like that lisa I SAW what happened, mom's sick. I asked her to watch the girls while I went to find you and dad used this loud sharp firm voice.. he said for me to sit my self down we were at a hospital and I was being too loud. I sat down and he said now I'd not tell you your mother was okay if she wasn't. She's fine..and I"m sure she was looking after those girls. I said dad, you don't understand, I saw them working on her, she had a heart attack in the waiting room, you have to find her. He gave me a cigarette, told me to calm down, that whoever I'd seen must have just looked like you that you were fine. Then he just turned away from me and It didn't occur to me to ask them why they were there. They were supposed to be at work. But were waiting in the smoking area outside of surgery. No one ever said, and I woke up about then so I don't know what happened, but god what a hopeless feeling dream. I know I suspected that you'd died but they didn't want to tell me. Bleah I hate that dream, it was an awful one.

Dad Singing In Church

Mom found some old tapes, and she recorded this onto her computer for me. He used to get up there and sing his heart out. I'd give anything I own if he had enough wind to be able to sing like that again.

Gone

There Is A River

Thanks, Mom!

Brenda...Again...

This site says that the berry isn't posionous, but the seed in it is. It advises to take 1 to 2 dried berries in the morning for arthritis, but don't chew it, so the toxic seeds pass.

I...dunno about this...

http://www.project-aware.org/Managing/Alt/aching.shtml

CAUTION: Poke root and poke berry seeds are highly toxic, and must be used in extremely low doses, preferably under the supervision of a qualified practitioner. Susun Weed suggests these have been found especially helpful for rheumatoid arthritis… "Use tincture of poke root (do not use dried poke root) or devil’s club at 1-4 drops daily. Or 1-2 dried poke berries each morning (swallow without chewing so that the toxic seeds will pass through)."

and this site:
http://www.warnerherbs.com/Uses.htm
says...
POKE BERRIES - Rub on (skin eruptions/ cancerous skin ulcers)and (Internal for cancer) arthritis.

this site tells a ton about poke:
http://www.herbnet.com/Herb%20Uses_OPQ.htm

So.. there you have it!

Thanks to My Friend Jana...

I was inspired to get my butt in gear, went to a cemetery in Middlesboro today and got these absolutely gorgeous shots...

If you want to see more, click here -------> X<------- and click on the Hensley Chapel link.

Thanks, Jana!!

4 Candles...

Four Candles
Thanks for the link, Roger!

Brenda...

I got those poke berries drying out now.. Ruth says 2 a day keeps the arthritis pain away.. but before I bring 'em to you I'm gonna do an online search and make sure they're safe!

See you soon, get the tea ready, woman, I'm thirsty!

Just.. ew. If I had this, I'd give it back for free. No reward necessary.

Yuck.

Stolen Bull Semen

Mom admits killing daughter, 8, to rid demon

God.

Click here.

Posted by juel at 05:46 PM