July 31, 2007

Today...

...was a long day. Hard in ways I had never imagined possible..yet it passed. The kids are sleeping. Mikyla has a rash on her tummy.. she's been sick at her stomach for a couple of nights - she has to go have her allergy shots tomorrow, but I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that she's upset about Dad.

Don and Carol headed back for Michigan this afternoon. Don took Dad's passing so hard. I felt so bad for him. Carol is an absolute doll. She did a thousand little (and big) things to make things easier for Mom, including helping to care for Papaw. She tickles me - when she first sees anyone come in.. she has to give them a hug. They don't leave either, unless they take a hug from her with them. Stan didn't know this and last night when we started to go home, she called to him and said she wanted her hug.. he blinked and looked startled, then said, "I'm comin' back!".. that made me laugh. He's a nut. But he learned.. there WILL be hugs where Carol is. You're a sweetheart, Carol, thank you for everything. Thank you too, Don - Love you both.

Lisa got up a couple of mornings ago, and found this message on her answering machine:
The Phone Call
She said she asked for a sign that Dad's alright, and this was on the machine. Dad used a Nextel and whenever he'd call the call would be full of static, just like this one. I took a video of it , to capture the call, we couldn't find a tape recorder. It sounds like a man saying "bye".. and this call has given Lisa so much comfort, even if it's a wrong number, I'd never tell her so. She thinks this is her sign.. Dad calling to tell her "bye". She doesn't have caller ID so she couldn't get the number of the caller, and Bonnie's call came in after this one, so she couldn't get it from Star69 either since it only catches the last call.
I think I like the idea of that. Who can say.. maybe it is Dad.

Mom had a fair day.. up and down, as can be expected. I worry about her. Financially, Dad made sure she was well taken care of. Emotionally, I worry. I keep telling her she's strong, and she keeps agreeing. I know, it just takes time.

We let the kids swim some this evening. I made Chili over there for dinner.. and hot dogs for the kids. We kept busy.

I did get a shock though when Lisa came in from work. She was driving Dad's truck today, and when she pulled in, I was sitting on the steps. I heard Mom call out.. "Grampa's Home!" and there for a few seconds, the dark left, my heart beat hard and I was just positive that I just woke up from the worst dream of my life. I was shocked to see Lisa get out of Dad's truck. Mom was mimicking what Maegan had said when she saw Dad's truck. It wasn't that I wasn't happy to see Lisa, don't get me wrong.. but ohhh was I disappointed that it wasn't really Dad.

Later on Lisa, Mom and I went back to the cemetery. Lisa and I have gone every day since Dad died - but Mom hadn't been back since the funeral, she hadn't seen the grave covered and the flowers on top. She found out we were going and wanted to go too, so we 3 went.

It went about as you could expect. Mom saw that grave and fell apart. She went to crying and talking and calling out to Dad and we just stood there helpless, just staring at our feet, trying to hold back, let her grieve, yet wanting to get her back to the car and home.. when we heard the awfullest crying on the other side of the cemetery. Lisa and I looked at each other and she said someone else is crying.. I nodded and said, crying hell, she's wailing.
I don't know why Mom stopped crying then.. but she did.. and the mourner on the other side of the graveyard was just going into fits. I know it wasn't an echo of Mom.. and oddly enough.. Mom didn't hear the other woman crying.

We got back in the car and drove around to leave, but there wasn't anyone else on that far side of the cemetery. We drove around again, just to be sure, and checked the road behind the cemetery but there wasn't another soul to be seen. I don't know who it was who was crying so hard. That was eerie. It was a woman's voice though...

It's late, I'm going to go and get some rest. Take care world, stay safe.

Chris, here's a special hello to you.. I love you darlin'. It sure was good to see you, but I absolutely despised the circumstances. I hope you had a good, safe trip home. Thank you for taking the time to come be with us at Dad's funeral, and thank Lon Jr. too.. tell him I love him too. G'nite sweety, I'll yammer to you more later. ;)

Posted by juel at July 31, 2007 01:34 AM