I have one for you now. It's about a family who is missing the hell out of you. It's about a younger sister who can't seem to pull it together sometimes, then other times seems to be as strong as a rock.
It's about a woman who's furious that her husband just up and died on her, so angry that I know if she could, she'd throw rocks at you, then give you a hug.
It's about another sister.. slightly older but who looks like she's the youngest who can't seem to mourn and grieve because 3 little girls are watching and it scares the hell out of them. She does her crying late at night on the porch, or at the graveyard if the kids aren'there. Did you ever hear of anyone making an appointment to grieve?
In this story there are children who keep looking for you, one of whom sings to you as if you're sitting right there on the floor beside her.. "rampaw ah wub yewwww." - She never sang that before, so you missed it. You'd get a kick out of it though. The middle little girl hasn't changed much, just her big eyes are more somber now. The little boy in the story just keeps saying that Grampa is sleeping, and the biggest little girl just keeps saying that everything's changed now. The oldest Grandson is trying to be the man of the house(s).
It's the story about a family who loved you very much, who are hurting, who are doing well to just tread water, but I know you'd be proud, because the water is being treaded, we're not drowning, but Mikyla is right. Nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same.
I miss you Dad. Sometimes I just want to talk to you so badly. Sometimes I really do just want to.. tell you a story. I just want to see you looking over those glasses at me with disbelief that I actually said what I just said, I don't care if it's mocking me, laughing at me, angry with me, proud of me, I don't care what reaction it'd be, just so long as you were here.
I love you. I'll tell you another story later.
Posted by juel at August 14, 2007 09:59 AM