...just keeps chugging along. Sometimes it's hard to get through the days for me, sometimes I just go back to bed. A big pity-party to which I'm the only one invited. I cry and grieve and then get up and go on about my daily business, my routine here with Dips and the kids. The house, the yard, my life.
Everyone left last night to go birthday shopping for me and I was here alone for about 4 hours. The silence was deafening. Dad's clock cuckoo'd every half hour, "Grampa's saying hello!",The kids like to say when they hear it. I heard every noise, I had the quiet to be able to think for a while, and naturally my thoughts turned to Dad.
How sad, how blue, how lonely I was. I got to thinking about how Mom's doing. Her's isn't for 4 hours, but for all day, all night, every day, every night. Mom, I'm so sorry. I don't have words that can touch that emptiness for you, I don't know what to say to you half the time, I just hope you know that I'm here. I can be there in 5 minutes when you need me.
God this is hard. I don't know how you're keeping it all together, I know it's a nightmare for you, I know. I'm proud of how you're coping, I'm just sorry I can't do more to try to help you heal.
I love you Mom, I'm so sorry. :*(
Posted by juel at August 21, 2007 11:59 PM