Bonnie called me the other night. She said, "Mom..I have to do something about my weight. My body is doing something strange..."
Me: "Well.. just do some exercising..."
Bonnie: "But It's my butt, it's not right, I'm okay on top, but from my hips down, my butt's so big it's coming on around in front of me! Help! What can I do?!"
Me: (earnestly trying to help) "Maybe if you stand up some along, during the day..."
Bonnie: (after a thoughtful (or maybe a taken aback) pause): ".....are you saying.. if I'd get up off my fat ass and do something it wouldn't be so big?"
Me: (yes, laughing, I'm sick like that) No!! Bonnie, no, I just mean that ..you asked me.. if I thought.. you need to.. you ASKED ME! I was trying to help!"
Mom: (having been sitting there listening) "Tell her to stand on her head a few hours a day, gravity isn't being kind to her."
Me: (scowling and laughing all at the same time to Mom while whispering with my hand over the mouthpiece) "I am NOT telling her to stand on her head, she just had a baby a month ago, it's only natural her body is out of shape! I can't tell a new mother to stand on her head! "
Mom: (giving me an incredulous glance) "No? You just told her to get off her fat ass and move around some."
Bonnie: "I'd like to take a moment to thank you both for this most loving and caring "Ass Intervention." I truly appreciate the kind advice."
Gawd these people in my life, they make me laugh!
Posted by juel at November 19, 2007 11:49 PM