I know that's hard (ha ha ha) for some of you to believe but I can. When I dig in my heels, they're not coming out.
I dug in my heels about this Hannah Montanah concert tonight, let's see what happens now.
Last week the girl's other gramma called. It seemed Sarah and Roy were telling her that Mik and Mal wanted to go to "Toys R Us" in Lexington. Nana told me she'd not mind taking them any other time of year, but right now, with all the holiday shopping, she just wasn't comfortable driving down there in the holiday traffic. She'd take them any other time of the year, just not now.
My reply to that was, wow, I hadn't thought of the traffic, but yes, it would be worse now than usual, but besides that, a trip now to Toys R Us would be nuts because you know they'd be wanting to buy toys and it's so close to Christmas they'd probably pick things to buy that we already have under the tree. She agreed whole heartedly, right, no trip to Lexington for them until after Christmas.
A couple of nights later, Sarah came in and said she wanted to talk to me about a gift from Nana to the girls for Christmas.. sure, what about it? Well, she's wanting to take them to Lexington to the Hannah Montanah concert next week, what do you think?
I think it's a bad idea, she already told me she's not comfortable with the traffic in Lexington right now, she didn't want to take them to Toys R Us because of it, so why is going to Rupp Arena any safer now? Nah, tell her to forget it the traffic's too bad, I'd be home worried sick till they got back. We dont have Dad with us this year, let's not chance something happening to the girls too, tell her to get them something else. It'd be nice, just let's not have to worry about them like that right now. You're right mom, I agree, I will tell her that.
Day before yesterday she just pointed on a map of Rupp Arena in the phone book she was leafing through, "Here's where the ticket seats for the concert are."
"I thought we talked about that and they're not going."
Her attitude became combative, "They're my kids and they are going."
I sat there for a time, steaming, and then I just got angry.
"No. They're you're kids, but they're not going. I'm not gonna sit here worried to death when I know Nana isn't comfortable driving down there, all of you just walk away and do your own thing and I have been here taking care of these kids keeping them safe and you ASKED me, we agreed it's a bad idea and then you do let this happen? No. I'm going to call Nana myself and this isn't going to happen."
It became a battle of wills.
Her eyes all narrowed and scrunched up.
The hump on my back more prominant and my horns lowered.
"You make me feel like they're not my kids."
"They're not. Not entirely. They're mine too now, by common decency and squatters rights. All of you went your own merry way, living your own merry lives and I have been right here with them now for all of their lives but a month here, a week there, a day here, a night there. You can't come back now and think to just do anything you want. It doesn't work that way."
"You make me feel like a slob. You make me clean up our messes."
"It's my house Sarah, if you make a mess, it's only right that you clean it up, I shouldn't have to ask..."
"... and you make me feel funny about what we eat and drink here."
(inner turrets - We haven't been able to keep a slice of cheese since you decided to stay. There's never any pop in the fridge, yet full opened cans are scattered everywhere. You light my cigarettes and hand to Roy. You have all but wiped out Mallory's box of Christmas candy. You're the first to the dinner table and last to leave without picking up the mess unless you're asked. A doughnut doesn't stand a chance if you're in the room and you feel 'funny' about eating and drinking here? Bullshit.)
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. Maybe if you were more independant and Roy had a job you'd not feel so funny if you were contributing a little more, it's been over a month now..."
"We're sleeping on an air mattress on the floor!"
(more internal turrets: Now she wants my bed!
"That's not my fault."
Things didn't go the way either of us wanted. She was still firm, they're going to the concert, I was still firm, I'm not giving up my bed. We both walked away with a "We'll see" attitude. Later though she did come and tell me there really aren't any Hannah Montanah tickets, she was just in essence, letting me know she was the boss as far as the kids were concerned. I just gently let her know they're not going.
The concert's tonight. We'll see.
Posted by juel at December 12, 2007 05:16 AM