Juel's Journal - Part 2

Today...

...was a long day. Hard in ways I had never imagined possible..yet it passed. The kids are sleeping. Mikyla has a rash on her tummy.. she's been sick at her stomach for a couple of nights - she has to go have her allergy shots tomorrow, but I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that she's upset about Dad.

Don and Carol headed back for Michigan this afternoon. Don took Dad's passing so hard. I felt so bad for him. Carol is an absolute doll. She did a thousand little (and big) things to make things easier for Mom, including helping to care for Papaw. She tickles me - when she first sees anyone come in.. she has to give them a hug. They don't leave either, unless they take a hug from her with them. Stan didn't know this and last night when we started to go home, she called to him and said she wanted her hug.. he blinked and looked startled, then said, "I'm comin' back!".. that made me laugh. He's a nut. But he learned.. there WILL be hugs where Carol is. You're a sweetheart, Carol, thank you for everything. Thank you too, Don - Love you both.

Lisa got up a couple of mornings ago, and found this message on her answering machine:
The Phone Call
She said she asked for a sign that Dad's alright, and this was on the machine. Dad used a Nextel and whenever he'd call the call would be full of static, just like this one. I took a video of it , to capture the call, we couldn't find a tape recorder. It sounds like a man saying "bye".. and this call has given Lisa so much comfort, even if it's a wrong number, I'd never tell her so. She thinks this is her sign.. Dad calling to tell her "bye". She doesn't have caller ID so she couldn't get the number of the caller, and Bonnie's call came in after this one, so she couldn't get it from Star69 either since it only catches the last call.
I think I like the idea of that. Who can say.. maybe it is Dad.

Mom had a fair day.. up and down, as can be expected. I worry about her. Financially, Dad made sure she was well taken care of. Emotionally, I worry. I keep telling her she's strong, and she keeps agreeing. I know, it just takes time.

We let the kids swim some this evening. I made Chili over there for dinner.. and hot dogs for the kids. We kept busy.

I did get a shock though when Lisa came in from work. She was driving Dad's truck today, and when she pulled in, I was sitting on the steps. I heard Mom call out.. "Grampa's Home!" and there for a few seconds, the dark left, my heart beat hard and I was just positive that I just woke up from the worst dream of my life. I was shocked to see Lisa get out of Dad's truck. Mom was mimicking what Maegan had said when she saw Dad's truck. It wasn't that I wasn't happy to see Lisa, don't get me wrong.. but ohhh was I disappointed that it wasn't really Dad.

Later on Lisa, Mom and I went back to the cemetery. Lisa and I have gone every day since Dad died - but Mom hadn't been back since the funeral, she hadn't seen the grave covered and the flowers on top. She found out we were going and wanted to go too, so we 3 went.

It went about as you could expect. Mom saw that grave and fell apart. She went to crying and talking and calling out to Dad and we just stood there helpless, just staring at our feet, trying to hold back, let her grieve, yet wanting to get her back to the car and home.. when we heard the awfullest crying on the other side of the cemetery. Lisa and I looked at each other and she said someone else is crying.. I nodded and said, crying hell, she's wailing.
I don't know why Mom stopped crying then.. but she did.. and the mourner on the other side of the graveyard was just going into fits. I know it wasn't an echo of Mom.. and oddly enough.. Mom didn't hear the other woman crying.

We got back in the car and drove around to leave, but there wasn't anyone else on that far side of the cemetery. We drove around again, just to be sure, and checked the road behind the cemetery but there wasn't another soul to be seen. I don't know who it was who was crying so hard. That was eerie. It was a woman's voice though...

It's late, I'm going to go and get some rest. Take care world, stay safe.

Chris, here's a special hello to you.. I love you darlin'. It sure was good to see you, but I absolutely despised the circumstances. I hope you had a good, safe trip home. Thank you for taking the time to come be with us at Dad's funeral, and thank Lon Jr. too.. tell him I love him too. G'nite sweety, I'll yammer to you more later. ;)

Dad's Funeral

We had his funeral on the 27th. Tommy Gerald did the eulogy, and he did a wonderful job.. Dad was surrounded by family, friends, beautiful flowers. We had 2 songs played for him, "Go Rest High On That Mountain", and "Wind Beneath My Wings". I think he'd have liked that.

His silver coffin was covered in roses, blue and white - a really pretty spray. Some folks sent these beautiful throws, I'd never seen that done before. Mom bought the prettiest one - and covered him before he was buried.

We buried him up in our family cemetery a couple of lots away from Mamaw. The Pallbearers were his friend John, and Nick, Dippy, Roy, Lonnie and Don. They all looked so handsome in their suits. We put Jeans and one of Dad's favorite shirts on him - he just wasn't the suit wearing type and we just wanted him to look comfortable...and like himself. I was glad for that.

After the service everyone went to Mom's and just gathered to talk.. and the place where Dad worked sent tons of food catered from Cracker Barrel. That was awfully nice of them.

Most of the company is gone now.. Don is still here, I think he's heading back to Michigan tomorrow, but I'm not sure. I'd like to thank everyone who came to the funeral, who said kind comforting words, things you did, things you said truly made a big difference. He was so very loved. That so many were grieving with me and Mom and Lisa really did make it .. not easier..I don't think those are the right words.. it wasn't easy at all.. but more tolorable. Thank you, everyone.

A little about Mom. Some of you out there have asked me how she's doing.. have told me to tell her hello, and how you're praying for and thinking of her.. I did pass on those messages and she said thank you so much, they help.

Mostly, she's a rock.. sometimes she cries, sometimes she laughs, sometimes she's angry, all natural emotions, I know.. and all those things make me sad, but sometimes she just shakes her head, in shock, and just whispers his name. I know at those times she's simply trying to absorb this, she's trying to understand why, and come to terms...but hearing her whisper like that chills me to the bone. I want to hurt for her, and there's nothing I can do to reach that kind of pain and loneliness. She's going to be alright, it's just going to take some time. She was with Dad for a long long time.

At the hospital, I would go out to the smoking booth.. it was directly across from Dad's hospital room window. I'd sit and watch him move his feet... that was all I could see of him from there. On the morning of the first day in the hospital, I was out there smoking and glanced over to his window (we had a code - we kept the blinds open and pulled up, if something went wrong in the room, we'd close the blinds to let those outside know to come back inside) and I saw Mom standing there, just staring out at me, and the stance, the expression, it spoke volumns. I took a photo, and she'll probably kill me for posting it, but this shot just explains everything to anyone who wants to know how Mom's doing.

She's there, rock solid.. immovable, yet so very vulnerable.

Mom, I love you. I'm so sorry. I can't make this go away, I can't sugar coat it, I can't even come up with words to make you feel slightly better. I can't hug you tight enough to squeeze out that poison-pain, I can't do anything but be here while you exist, because I know that's all you're doing right now. One day, I pray the existing becomes living again, I'm sure it will.. you are strong. One day I hope when you laugh, it's from your heart. I will do anything I can to help you make it through the days until you're sick of the sight of me.

I'm tired now, I'm going to lay down by Maegan - she's grumbling and pointing at me. Sarah and Roy went back to Missouri this evening and the girls are missing them.

Thanks again everyone. I love you. G'nite.

My Dad...

Yesterday morning, they listened to his lungs, he had great breath sounds, they started weaning him from the vent, and he did GREAT! He fought like a tiger to breath and stay calm so he could get off of that thing. And he did it!

He was so hungry, he ate some apple sauce, and some jello, then the kitchen sent him some mashed potatos, sweet potatos and brocolli with cheese, and he ate most of that. He couldn't like the brocolli, but he ate most of the rest of it.. said he was so hungry he didn't care what it was.. and oh was he happy to have that tube out of his throat and the one out of his nose.

Dippy brought him his favorite coffee cup and his Nescafe coffee and Lisa made him a cup.. he drank it, no.. he savored it!

I stepped outside to smoke, and when I came back in, I was shocked to see him sitting in the chair beside the bed. He looked so good.. :) He said, Juel, where's the camera.. ain'tcha gonna take my picture? I laughed and said you bet I am! I grabbed my camera and started taking all kinds of shots of him in his chair... he just posed and smiled.. I asked him if he wanted me to post them on my journal.. he said, yeah I do.. would that be alright? I was so relieved to see him up and smiling, HELL YES Dad, it'll be just fine! I went camera crazy.. :)

At about 5 or so, the kitchen sent him dinner.. little squares of potatos, and something that smelled like fish and looked like fish outside, but looked like chicken inside.. I told Mom I didn't think Dad would care for the "Chish" - and he didn't.. he was still full from his lunch.

Lisa went home to rest, and Mom asked me if I'd go get Nick to come see him for a while.. Nick had been so very worried about Dad, so I took off to get Nick, and boy did that thrill him to be able to go see Dad. He sat on the edge of the bed, held Dad's hand and Dad told him that they'd go fishing one day soon. Nick just beamed. He adores Dad.

We didn't stay long - we didn't want to tire Dad out with visitors, so I took Nick home, and while I was there, I went in to say hi to Papaw, and to tell him how well Dad was doing. I showed him some of these photos so he could see that Dad was alright, and then I said Papaw, why don't you smile for him, I'll take your picture and show him that you're okay too.. so he did..

Dad asked me to bring him back a Milkshake, he said he thought he could take one.. he's not been able to drink or eat any kind of dairy products in a long long time - they would make him cough. I stopped by Dairy Queen at about 8 this evening and got him the biggest chocolate Milkshake they sell.

Lisa was back there by the time I got back with it, and she sat and helped him drink it while I took even more pictures. His hands were so swollen from being on the vent he couldn't hold it for himself. He just kept drinking, saying Mmmmmm.. I know that felt good on his throat.

I stayed a while longer, then told him I had to go, I had to come home and get the kids bathed and ready for bed.. but I told him I'd be back through the night, and if he needed anything to just call and I'd be back there in 5 minutes. He said okay.. and that he loved me too.. and he just kept drinking on that milkshake.

I came home, got the kids ready and we all laid down, I fell to sleep, and the phone rang at about 1:15. It was Shannon, she said that Dad was having some problems breathing and they'd called respiratory in.. for me to come on back, that Lisa was scared.

I got there and Lisa and Shannon and Mom were in the waiting room - so I sat to wait with them while respiratory were working on Dad.

Lisa said that Dad was fine, he was resting really well.. they had him on his right side.. and he was supposed to lay there until 1:30 this morning.. he kept asking her how much longer, because it was making him uncomfortable. Then asked her to get Frank, his nurse. She did, and then she said she panicked because Dad looked like he was turning blue. Frank asked her to leave the room while he turned Dad on the other side, she did.. and the next thing we knew, my Dad passed away.

When we got over the initial shock, I talked to Frank. He said that Dad didn't suffer, he didn't cry out, he just went to sleep. He wasn't sure if it was a heart attack or a clot in his lung, he just went to sleep and they couldn't get him back this time.

I'm still in shock. We all are. We're strong. He taught us to be independant. We're going to be alright, eventually. He loved us very much, and I can not complain or lament that they couldn't get him back on the vent before he died... he told me earlier today that he remembered every detail of being on it and it was pure torture, then he shook his hand at me and said never again, no more of that thing.

I take comfort in the fact that that didn't happen to him again. I take greater comfort in the fact that when we first lost him last Wednesday, we were given one more day. One more day to tell him we love him, and to hear him tell us he loved us. We got to hear him laugh, we got to hear him joke around, we got to see his eyes, open and alert, we got to watch him eat, we got to hold his hand and just have one more day with him.

I'm still in shock.. very much so. I can still feel the shards of glass all over me, only now they're imbedded so deeply I will never get them out. I don't know what else to say, just that I know you all loved him very much, and I know he loved you too. I'm sorry, so sorry - this loss is all of ours.

My Dad

April 20, 1943 - July 26, 2007

Mom...

I know this wasn't the Anniversary celebration we'd had in mind, we'll do that one when Dad comes home. That Dad is still with us, that he is doing so well, was a beautiful Anniversary gift from God. Dad's going to get better. I just know it, he's going to get better and he'll be back home before you know it. And when he does, we'll have one of the bestest Anniversary parties ever!

I know you're scared half to death, this is very scary, just keep remembering that he loves you, he loves all of us - he always has, and he's not going to go anywhere without one hell of a fight. He'll be home soon - leaving his socks on the floor, making a mess in the bathroom and dropping sugar and coffee on the counter. You just watch and see! HE WILL!

Happy Anniversary, there will be many many more.. I love you.

Dad Again...

Today was a really good day. :) They started weaning him at about 8 this morning and he tolerated it really well for almost 8 hours. Then he started going into some distress, so they stopped. While he was learning to breathe again, he was awake, alert, and able to communicate what he wanted with his eyes and his hands. He'd point, nod, blink his eyes in response to our questions and comments. That sure did relieve my mind.

We asked if he knew where he was.. he nodded yes.. yes, he was hot, so we got the fan on him to cool him down, no he wasn't in pain, yes, he wanted his mouth swabbed because it was dry.. no, don't leave the room, all sorts of things, he just let us know what was on his mind. I told him I've still been buying his lottery tickets for him, that he'll have to check to see if he's won when he gets out of the hospital, that got a big thumbs up. :)

Then at about 1 or so, I kidded mom.. why don't you run down to the kitchen Mom and make us some sausage, biscuits, gravy and eggs.. *laughs* Dad's hand went up and he SHOT ME THE BIRD! He loves breakfast and didn't think it was fair we could eat and he can't. That was too funny.

My cousin Shannon came in to see him for a while this morning and I asked Dad if he could give Shan a thumbs up.. he did and her whole face lit up. That was neat too. She's been a God-send, staying with Papaw and Nick when Mom and I are at the hospital during the day, then coming back at night to stay with at the hospital with Lisa while Mom goes home to get some rest. Shannon, I can't thank you enough for all the things you do for us. I know Dad appreciates it, you'll always be special to him. Thank you.

Tomorrow they're gonna try again, so keep praying, it's gonna happen!

Thanks everyone!

My Dad...

He's had a really hard 4 days. On Wednesday morning (Sarah's birthday), he got up, said he was feeling better, and while Mom made the coffee he headed for the bathroom. But Mom noticed he was in there too long. When she went to check on him, she found that he was barely breathing and he was not responding to her. She called the ambulance, and they got him out in the driveway and intubated him there.

We found at the hospital he had a full blown case of pneumonia in his left lung, and the xray showed what they kept calling a 'total white-out'. The E.R. doctor was pretty blunt in saying he didn't know if they could help dad or not. He was that bad.

They put him in intensive care, where he still is tonight, and started aggresive antibiotics, heart meds, all sorts of iv's. The next day he seemed better, so the doctor decided to take him off of the vent, to our relief.. and so they started a really fast weaning.. lasting only 15 or so minutes. Dad was responsive, talking to us, and suddenly he crashed. He managed to stay off the vent for roughly an hour before he went into full arrest. They did cpr.. got his heart going again - put him back on the vent, then decided to clear his pneumonia as much as possible before trying to wean him again, and so that day was today. They are taking this slow, instead of so fast as they tried the first time, they don't want him going into full arrest again. Today though, they tried again to wean him, and at first it went okay, but then he started going into distress again at about 5 this evening, so they just put the vent back on. They'll try again tomorrow.

We found out today, he's septic - which, the respiratory therapist says, means that he's had an infection that went untreated until it finally got into his bloodstream.

No wonder he's felt so bad for so long, and no wonder he's looked so bad. He's so stubborn though, absolutely refused to see any doc but his own, who was in Florida until this past Tuesday... by the time she got back, he was just so sick. What I don't understand is why she didn't put him in the hospital when he saw her Tuesday.. she said today that she hadn't heard any breath sounds when she saw him Tuesday morning - so I don't understand that. She'd suggested then, that if he felt worse, to go to the E.R., but it just seems like to me she should have insisted that he go straight from her office. I don't think I'll ever understand that one.

I know I sound choppy, and out of focus, I haven't slept much.. I've been pretty much staying at the hospital. I feel like I'm in a bad dream and can't wake up. I feel like I'm walking on cotton.. the ground isn't firm beneath my feet anymore. Too, the pain of watching him go through this, is much like I think it would feel to have little slivers of glass all over your body that you can't get out.

Thank you to those of you who have called to check on him, who have come to the hospital to see him, and to all of you who are praying for him. We really appreciate it, please, keep it up.. this isn't a hopeless case, he can be weaned from that vent, but not until his body is healed and ready.

Tomorrow (July 23) will be Mom and Dad's 46th Wedding Anniversary.

I'll post more when I can.

Sarah...

Happy 27th Birthday!!!!!

I hope you have a wonderful day! I'm gonna miss you, this is the first one you've had without me.

:***********(

An Unseen Observer?

When I was going through my pictures tonight, deciding which to post, resizing them.. I found 3 pretty cool shots in the batch of all the kids playing in Mom's yard. I don't get too many shots of "orbs" - when I do, I post them.. tonight I got 3 different orbs - if it's a spirit, reckon who it was.. reckon who could be so interested in the family playing like that. :) I thought these were really neat!

If you want to see the larger image, click on the pic!

A Herd of Kids!

Shannon brought her youngins over to Mom's tonight so the girls got to play with their cousins.. and as you can see.. they had a BLAST!!!

The Snake

This thing was awful! Nick usually takes the snakes that wander into Mom's yard, or in the road by the tail and puts them over the fence back towards the river. He rarely kills one, but once in a while a scary one comes and tries to show us who's boss. They don't live long if they have that attitude and this one was chock full of i'monna-bite-ya

At first we thought it was just a black snake - it was right beside Mom's house, close to where Maegan had been playing... if Maegan had gone about 8 more feet that way, it would have bitten her - Nick called out for me to bring my camera, he was gonna pick it up and take it to the fence.. but just as I got over there, he bent down to pick it up, and it got mad.

When we saw it start to strike, I told Nick to get away, it wasn't acting like a black snake and it had brown markings on it.. I'm not sure what it was.. a copperhead is well.. copper colored.. but sometimes you hear that Copperheads are mating with Blacksnakes, so maybe that's what it was.. ever what it was though, it wasn't taking no human bullcrap. When Nick moved away from it, I told him to get a hoe, we needed to kill it so it didn't come back around and bite one of the kids. I think it has been living under Mom's shed.. so Nick went to find his gun instead. Meanwhile, the snake crawled spang UP the tree! I never saw a snake do that before.. it had no problem at all scaling that tree!

Look, it's hard to spot up there on that limb. I wonder how many snakes have watched down while we walk right under them. UGH!!

Anyone know what kind of snake this is? Lisa said it looks like a Cottonmouth to her, but I don't know. A snake is a snake is a snake to me, and I can't like any of 'em! They killed it, and I was glad. I just cringe all over thinking how close the kids were to that thing! It was roughly 4 feet long! UGHHHH!!

Papaw Today

Papaw's pretty much the same, he eats a little, drinks a little pop along, and spends his time with the family and watching television, just resting and taking it easy. He let me feed him a bowl of Rice Krispies this morning.. I didn't even know he liked those.. I always thought he was a Corn Flakes kinda guy. :)

Dad Today

He's been pretty sick, and finally went to the doctor today. He's got a terrible case of bronchitis and has to stay home from work for a few days. After a shot of Prednisone, he was already feeling tons better. Hurry up and get well Dad, I'm worried about you!

My Four Angel-faces!

Just Playing...

Finders, Keepers...

Loosers, sneakers!

That, is how it goes, according to Mallory!

My Mother has a sick side. She was singing to Maegan on the porch swing this evening.. Rock-a-bye baby.. on the tree top.. when the wind blows, the cradle will rock.. when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall.. and down will come baby.. cradle and all..

All 3 girls just stared at her, shook their heads, no, no that's not how it goes, Granny, here's how we sing it..

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top.. when the wind blows, the cradle will rock.. when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall.. but Mommy will catch you, cradle and all..

*laughs*

Mom looked puzzled, and I explained.. we changed the words a little bit because we didn't like the idea of the baby falling down and going 'splat'. She laughed and sang a version of her own then..

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top.. when the wind blows, the cradle will rock, when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall, but Daddy will catch you and throw you against the wall..

That was so wrong Mom! But it did crack Mikyla up, she liked that one, I'll have to watch and make sure she doesn't start singing it like that to Maegan now.. .. Granny's version was worse than the one we 'fixed'! Sick!! Sick, sick, Granny! (it was funny tho, you had to be there!)

The Mega-Cake

Tonight, they baked (built) a cake, that would make Willy Wonka proud! I did nothing but take the pictures, they did it all themselves.. the only part Dippy helped with, was to help Maegan frost her part. What do you think of this?!

I think it's a WONDERFUL cake!! When they finished, Mallory stepped back, stared at it and whispered reverantly, "It's the most beautiful cake I ever saw.. I never saw such a beautiful cake..." Maegan could only say, "Wow! WOW!" over and over again, and Mikyla just stood there giggling. I think they had a good time creating this masterpiece, don't you? They haven't eaten any of it yet.. by the time they finished it was too late to let them get all hyped up on that kinda sugar.. so they can have it for breakfast! *laughs* Grammas! Don't you just love us? Nice job, Girls! It's Beeeeyootiful!!

Just Playing...

Snaggle Tooth - The Sequel!

Mallory lost her first baby tooth night before last, and her second one yesterday. She was thrilled! The tooth fairy brought her 5 bucks for the first one, but she's saving the 2nd one to show her Mommy before she sells it to the tooth fairy. :)

Joel

Funny Faces... :)

Cheers!

A Busy Busy Weekend...

We haven't stopped once this weekend. I can't believe it's over this fast, it seems like it wasn't 4 hours long. Ugh, looking at my house I can sure see we weren't home much, just enough to make a mess. I have to get it cleaned back up.. the laundry is making fun of me, it thinks it won.

I'll have to do it tomorrow at some point, but first thing in the morning I have to get Mallory to the DenTIST. I'm not sure why, just they said they have to see her 3 more times this year. Go figure..

I need to water my plants. They're not fairing so well. They stare at me all accusingly when I walk past them.. like.. I'm not doing enough to make them happy. Sorry flowers, I promise to do better this week! (maybe)

Well, it's past 1, I need to get some sleep, so g'nite world, stay safe, and think of me and smile! :) G'nite!

It's That Time Again...

...School starts back August 8th, or the 10'th, depending on who you talk to.. which ever date, it's soon, so we started school clothes shopping today.

The girls did their own shopping, they chose their own outfits, their own shoes, and they tried on every piece in the fitting room to be sure they were happy with their choices. They had a BLAST! They have good taste too, looky here!

Maegan got a couple of pairs of new shoes too, and an outfit. She won't be going to school, but she needed something new too, after all!

They have their new backpacks, their new lunchboxes and school supplies, their new socks and most eveything they need to get back in school. After we shopped we took them to Sonny's to eat, they loved that.. especially Maegan. because they got a free balloon, and Maegan loves balloons. :)

Then.. after we ate, we went to Mom's to show her their beautiful new clothes and they got to swim for the rest of the day. That's Mikyla's favorite thing on this Earth to do.. Mallory and Maegan love it too!

But.. swimming makes a gal hungry, so even though they'd had dinner already, we had to stop and get them a pizza on the way home to tide them over 'till morning. *laughs* I won't mention the bag of cookies and the milk they had at Mom's after swimming. That snack just didn't fill them up. Lordy these girls can eat! I'm surprised they don't set the alarm for about 3 a.m. so they can get up and have another meal! Pre-breakfast!

Papaw Today...

I took him an orange yesterday and peeled it for him.. cut it up into small cubes, put a little salt on it, and he ate the whole thing! He said it was delicious, so I took him another one today. Too, I took him a couple of peaches, and a couple of plums. He ate a plum first thing, said he just LOVES those things. I'll have to get him some more.

Granny's Sleep-over

Night before last we ladies all got together at Granny's house and had the coolest sleep-over! Mom got 2 of those air mattresses and put them out on the deck under the gazebo, we zipped the nets shut and had a blast!

I can't decide whether it was Maegan or Mallory who enjoyed it the most. I tried to get Maegan to go home with Dippy for the night, but once she saw those air mattresses, no way! She shook that head NO and she meant it. Mallory was snug as a bug in a rug beside Lisa and not a bit afraid of all the night sounds. Mikyla made me promise to sit up all night and watch over her (which I did... the night sounds got my mind spinning...I couldn't have slept if I wanted to!)

Mom was a hoot, I wont mention how she spent her time, but let's just say she had the giggles.. well more than giggles, but I dont think there's a one word descriptor for belly laughing.

I had my camera as usual.. and once the kids fell to sleep, and Lisa started her snoring.. and Mom quieted down, I got to looking around, and next thing I knew, my mind conjoured up mental images of 6 bone dry husks being found out there come daybreak. *laughs* Look at these bugs! This mosquito was big enough to sadle and ride!

Thanks Mom for having us, that was fun!!

Bonnie...

...was having labor pains day before yesterday.. she had to go to the hospital and have one of those Brethane (sp?) shots. She's been off work since, and is doing fine, no more of that early labor business.. and she's not allowed any more of that early labor business, if she does, I'm putting her in time out!! Bonnie, I'm glad you and the baby are alright. Stop scaring Mammy like that!
:)

Polly Paranoid...

Mom said I did the same things when I was her age, if so I just don't remember it. Mikyla frets over everything! Are the doors locked at night? Did you remember to put the cell phone on the charger? Did we remember to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home tonight? Do you think Walmart will still have those shoes on Saturday? I touched some bean dust with my toe, do you think it's poisonous? *laughs* I told her, Mikyla, it's my job to do the worrying, it's your job to be a kid and have fun.. deal? Well, okay Mammy, but what if you forget to worry about something...

This one has my heart and soul. I love them all, I do.. just (all grammas know what I mean) she's my first one...

A Real Cracker-Jack!

This little one, she gets away with too much. Because she makes me laugh. Maybe because she's the baby. I don't know, but she does make me laugh a lot.

Anyone in their right mind knows that if I'm sleeping, wake me up easy. It hurts me to wake up, it really does. I feel like I'm going to die - waking up is the absolute hardest thing on earth for me to do, physically. It always has been.

This morning at about 3 a.m., Maegan woke up in her crib crying, "Mammy!! Mammy I want OUT!" So I stumbled to her crib, got her out, brought her to my room and let her sleep by me. At 8:04 this morning (I know it was 8:04 because I was facing the alarm clock, not Maegan because she likes to poke me in the eyes) I got a solid, sound, firm noise making THWAK upside the back of my head. *laughs* That kid woke up and decided to just.. bip me. For the first time in my life I woke up cackling. I couldn't help it, just the fact that she had nerve enough to wake me so abruptly got me tickled.

I turned to look at her and she smiled brightly and said, "Hi!" all enthusiastically.

God how I love the little rugrat!

The Food-Belt

My Mallory loves her food.. she always has. *laughs* She packs a 'snack-bag' just to go from here to Mom's house. She squirrels away little candies, cakes, munch things for a rainy day in her little Tupperware box. She just loves her food. Healthy food, junk food, she doesn't really care.. you name it, she likes it. And the kid stays thin. I don't get it. Dips gave her a tool belt the other day.. I turned around and she had it full..

...just not full of tools.. she had it full of snacks. She's something else!

Watching

I'm a people watcher. And too.. I dwell on things. Things done, and things said, and I just sit and think on it, and sometimes I just want to point fingers and name names and just spit out what's on my mind.

God some people make me sick. Some people make me so angry it's all I can do to remain silent. I don't believe in embarrassing anyone. I never did. I don't like confrontations. Yet as each day passes, I watch, I listen and I become more and more irritated, and I really wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to sit here with my mouth shut.

Where the hell is compassion in people? How do some folks come up with their twisted priorities? My first priority are these three beautiful little girls who live with me. That's my first and foremost priority. Those of you who can't take that, who can't understand that, can kiss where the sun don't shine. Those who are jealous of that, get a grip, go look in the mirror and do some soul searching. You look rediculous, because your jealousy shows.

Those of you who need a dollar before you can do something for someone, shame on you. And those of you sitting there lying through your teeth talking about what you've done for others knowing good and well you've done nothing without taking a huge chunk of something in return, well, newsflash, you're embarrassing yourself.. because someone's watching who knows the truth. You look rediculous.

And to those of you who truly care about others, who don't begrudge others who care, kudos. You're a rare breed. You're being watched too. I know you don't need bragged on.. I know your compassion is from the heart and you simply don't know how to be anything other than what you are, but anyway, I see. I wish more out there were like you are.

Good God.

Now I can brace myself, settle back and wait for the objections to pour in.

Have at it assholes. I'm ready for ya.

Mom's Cousin Mary...

...crossed over today at 12:20. She was Papaw's niece, CoraLee's daughter. When she found out Papaw was at Mom's, she called weekly to check on him, up until she was too sick. My condolances to her family.. sleep sweet, Mary.

Dad Today

So Pretty!

Big Bellies!

This Bugs Me!

At The Fireworks

I shot 2 Deer This Evening!

It's Really Sad..

Helping Mom get Papaw ready for bed tonight, I couldn't help but just feel sad. His Jazzy chair sits in the corner, waiting for him, and I asked him when he was gonna get up and use it. He said, "Juel, I don't think I ever will." I'm glad he's still calling us by name. He's still aware of who we are.

When I asked him why he's not gonna use his Jazzy, he just said he's out of energy. I wish he'd have had his chair to use back when he was still able to have enjoyed it. How sad that he didn't have access to one until it was too late. One.. and I literally mean ONE day too late. He'd sit on the porch before he took ill, and watch the kids ride their cars and he'd comment, "Boy if I had my chair I'd race them around this house." And I really think he would have too. Bless his heart. Mom worked hard to get him a new one, and she did it, but it got lost in transit by the time it finally got there he was already too sick to use it.

Every time I see it sitting there, I get upset all over again. Isn't it funny what some folks tend to dwell on?

I took him a "Green Malicious" apple tonight. He told me to peel it for him, so I did, and he ate some.. wouldn't eat it all, but he seemed to enjoy what he did eat of it. He was munching it while watching The Dukes of Hazard on television. He still loves everything Southern.

He's been praying for Dorothy the past few days. She's been very sick, on a respirator, feeding tubes, that whole road. Love the family's hearts, they're not too optimistic, but Papaw just keeps praying for her. Dorothy's a tough one, I wouldn't give up on her either. Hang in there Earl... Darlene!

We got word today that Mom's cousin Mary isn't doing well. When it rains it pours, doesn't it?

Tommy Gerald got his canopy put up, he said it was WONDEFUL, he loves it. I'm glad to hear it!

I'm so thirsty! I think I'll go grab a glass of ice water, then I'm gonna get some sleep. G'nite world, Have a Happy and Safe 4th of July!

Maegan

I just had to steal a few minutes to come and leave this post now, because by bedtime I forget the funny things they do. I fixed breakfast for them this morning and for the first time in my life I got a standing ovation for it! Maegan tasted it, stood on the chair, clapped those hands and cheered! *laughs*

She has wild hair in the mornings, it's getting long and this morning, she looked like she got caught in a lightning storm!

She's so funny...after she ate, she stole a towel from the drier while I was folding them - put it over her head and then walked 'monster/ghost' style into the living room where Mik and Mallory were playing school..

Mikyla, always one to play along, mock shrieked, "A GHOST!!", and then I heard Maegan cry out in terror and start to run. In trying to play scare her sisters, she got scared herself. Oh how I love these kids, they sure do keep me laughing!

Jana!!

Have a wonderful July 4th!!!!!!!! :)

On My Mind...

First of all, Shannon, I want to say thank you for going in the mornings to help Mom like you do. It's hard for me to get there with the kids here like this, so you're sure making it easier on all of us. You've sure hung in there with him over the years. I wonder if you know how much you're appreciated? If not, let me say...

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This Much!!!!

You were livid tonight and I can't say I blame you. Watch and see though, every single hurt that's been thrown your way will become a double edged sword aimed right back at the pitcher. It always happens like that. Bide your time, and just watch and see. Hang in there girl, I (we) love ya!!!

I'm tired. It's been one of those 48 hour days. It was a wonderful day, but a long one. I just have one more child awake, and she's almost zonked. The two littlest ones have been sleeping for almost an hour now, but Mikyla is still up watching TV.

Maegan's getting tall. Someone said yesterday, that she doesn't look like a baby anymore, she looks like a little girl. He was right. She's talking up a storm now, and she knows what she wants, what she doesn't like, she likes to pick out her own clothes, she decides when it's her bath time, and she's trying to get potty trained. She wants to be big like Mikyla and Mallory, and that includes sleeping here in my room. I let her fall to sleep in here, then I carry her into her room and put her in her crib.. where she will only sleep if she has her feather comforter under her. If I take it out.. woo! She isn't happy until it's put right back where it goes. I can't say as I blame her, those plastic crib matresses suck, even when you pad beneath the crib sheet with a blanket. Oh well.. she'll be in her own little bed soon.

Mallory is literally inhaling these summer days. She can't play hard or fast enough, she can't eat or drink nearly enough, the freezer can't hold enough ice cream for her, there's not enough water in the pool to slow her down. She's swimming like a fish, as good as Mik swims now, but I still don't feel comfortable unless she's wearing her floatie. It makes her soooo mad but there are just too many kids to watch and l can't stand it unless I know for sure she's safe.

(Yeah, I'm a funsucker.)

Mikyla is becoming quite the lady. She's very fussy about how she looks, and she's taken to trying to wear make up. However.. foundations break her out and eye make up gives her sties around her eyes, so no more of that, but.. she can (she informs me) wear lipstick..and does. She wears one maroon color that scares me because she kisses Maegan on the head.. then Maegan will get in the water and the smudged lipstick starts running and it looks like her head's busted open! Yuck, I hate that lipstick!

Kelly got home safely today, we haven't seen him or Bonnie or Joel today though, maybe we will tomorrow. Bonnie said he's thinking about going on active duty with the guards, which would mean he could go to Japan, and she could join him after the baby's born. As a mother, I hate the thought of her doing that. Japan?! But as a person, I think she'd be crazy to pass up an opportunity like that...I'd LOVE to go to Japan! Life's full of tough choices. Ugh!

I'm not sure how Sarah's doing today, she talked to Mikyla while ago, but I didn't talk to her today... she was fine as of yesterday though.

Dad's doing pretty good, he slept a lot this weekend. But it's so hot, and he works so much, I don't blame him!

Mom's fine, buzzing around, going 100 MPH as always.. nothing slows that woman down. I just watch her for 10 minutes and I need a nap!

Stan's still pouting at me for eating his pear. I'll have to get him another one. *laughs* I'm sorry honey, it just looked so good!

Yikes! I have water in my ears from that pool! I had a bottle of Swim-Ear on the Microwave but it's gone.. I'll have to ask Bonnie if she used it.

Well, it's getting late and I'm ready to head out. G'nite world, have a safe & fun Independance Day!!

Papaw Again

He partook of a couple of watermelon balls. :) I sure wish he could have gotten outside today with us. He'd have liked that. But.. he did enjoy the watermelon.

A Special Cousin

He's Mom's first cousin, mine and Lisa's and Shannon's second cousin. He's been so good to everyone in the family over the years - always checking in on Papaw - and not just when Papaw was sick, he was good to visit him when Papaw was on his own in his apartment. He'd go cut his hair, just sit and chat with him. And he's been thoughtful like that to everyone over the years for as long as I've known him - and he's never once asked for anything in return.

Tommy Gerald's birthday is coming up on the 13th of July and we wanted to do something special for him.

Mom has this really nice Gazebo thing on her back patio and when Tommy Gerald saw it he really had a fit over it, every time he'd see it, he'd go on about how much he liked it, and would love to have one like that at his house.

We got together, Mom, Lisa, Shan and I, and we decided to buy him one for his birthday and then we decided to get him over there today and give it to him so he'd have it to use for his own July 4th cook out. Mom called, didn't tell him what we needed him for, only that it wasn't anything bad with Papaw so he'd not be scared.. he came just like clockwork, tho he was busy as a bee at home because today was his and his wife's anniversary.

That was fun.. he was so surprised - he LOVED it!

Thanks for everything Tommy Gerald, Happy Anniversary, & Happy Early Birthday! We love ya!!!!!

More Pics..

...and then it gets the hose again!

The Waterfight

The kids won!

The Bug

It was a grasshopper.. like that expression on Maegan's face? lol.. UGH!

Mommy In the Phone

Maegan talks to Sarah by phone every day, and any time she sees a phone she picks it up and tries to talk to her Mommy. She thinks Mommy's in the phone. This evening she picked up Mom's phone, dialed a zillion numbers then went to talking to her Mommy. Mom called Sarah's cell phone to get Sarah to call her on the land line, but I don't think Sarah got the message. Sarah called here just before 11, but Maegan wouldn't talk then - she was too tired.

The Blackberries!

The bushes behind mom's house are chock full!

They picked over a gallon of them today..

I don't care much for them - they seem so bitter to me, even when they're smooshy they're so ripe. Still, I'll do something with these, but it'll take a ton of sugar to sweeten them up so Mal doesn't pucker like she did the other night!

Papaw

He asked for the baby as soon as we got there, so Shannon took her in to see him and he got a few hi-5's. :)

Our July 4th...

We celebrated today, had a cook out and swimming and fireworks at Mom's. It was really nice.. I got a lot of pictures, but I played a lot too!

Shannon was there when we got there, helping Mom get Papaw ready for his day.. then Tommy Gerald came over, then later Ray came to see him. It was cloudy sometimes, but mostly sunny and I think that in spite of our sun screen we all burned a little in that pool.

We ate, swam, played, ate some more, swam some more, played some more, and then when it got dark we shot off some fireworks. Maegan loved that, she kept saying "Wow!" and then she'd clap and yell.. "More! MORE!" That kid's something else. They all had a good time. :)