December 27, 2007
Christmas, 2007
I have a bunch of pictures..I'll post them soon. Here are a few for now, Bonnie I know you're waiting eagerly for them. :)
Santa came for a brief visit...
It was Nick of course, because everyone knows the real Santa is too busy to stop by anyone's house on Christmas eve, but it tore Mikyla up to recognize Nick.
She was even angrier when she was told, No! That's not Nick! She got so angry she cried. She wanted what she knew was the truth.. Santa was Nick!
Mom took her to the living room and had a talk with her, agreed, yes, it was Nick, but don't spoil it for the little ones.. Mikyla agreed, no she'd never do that.
Mallory's advice was very logical... she whispered to Mikyla, "Shh, so what? I don't care if it's Nick or not, be quiet, pretend you think he's really Santa so we'll get a present!"
Even Joel recognized Nick, though we hadn't expected that. When Nick came back in sans Santa suit, Joel ran up to him and asked, "Nick, why was you inside Santa?" Maegan though wasn't having any part of whoever that was in the red clothes. She watched the other kids get their gifts, so she sat on his lap long enough to snatch her present then she literally leaped back into Mom's arms.
Tristan, as you can see, took it all in stride. Nick, you did a good job.. you made a perfect Santa! Mom that suit was beautiful too! Thanks for doing that you two, that was fun. :)
Santa appreciated my outfit, and offered me a job. He said he pays minimum wage and DOES offer health insurance! How 'bout that?!
There were lots of presents...
Mom and Lisa spent the night Christmas eve, they slept in the Dorm room.
Nick got good things.. of course he did, he was SANTA, how could he not end up with the coolest Motorcycle/ He was thrilled!
Both he and Lisa got one. They're pretty, I just hope they ride them safely!
Shannon stopped by with presents. She brought me a necklace with matching ear rings. Thank you Shannon!!
My trash can from mom, I think it was my favorite gift! Thank you, Mom!!
I'm getting sleepy.. I'll have to post more of the pics tomorrow. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Thank you everyone for everything.. I love you! G'nite!
Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?
Hell no. I'm not smarter than a 2nd grader! Jeff Foxworthy, you're cruel! I mean, I'm not the brightetst bulb in the pack, but good God man, did you have to come up with a game that proves that in front of other people, so blatently?
Now my own kids know how 'stoopid' I really am. There goes my advice credibility spang out the window!
Good God!
Amanda's Funeral
Is today (27th) at 2. Topsy, my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Today
Roy slept till about 11.. then Sarah got him up to take him to work. She said she'd be right back, but I didn't hear from her until they came in a little after 10 tonight. I asked her where they'd been, she said that she took him to work, but there wasn't any work, they're finished until next week. So instead of coming back here, they just went out and she took him everyplace hunting for a job, but he didn't find one. She said she had to be at work at 4 so she just went on in to work from all that job hunting. Maybe they'll get up and out tomorrow and have better luck.
5 Months
Today was 5 months since we lost Dad. (the 26th) I thought it would be a really dismal day, all of those anniversaries were, but it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. I suppose having made it through Christmas without him is why.
It was a sad Christmas, Dad is gone, and nothing is the same. We had a nice dinner, the family were all together here, but for him, everyone gave and recieved gifts. Santa came and went. The kids were glowing, happy and safe. We still have a lot to be thankful for. But Dad is gone. Really and Truly forever gone.
Yet...I could hear him laughing, I could hear him scoffing, I could feel him right there with us through everything. Physically he's gone, but he'll never be absent from our hearts and our homes. It's difficult missing him physically, but (and I know this is going to sound strange) I can actually sit, close my eyes and have a whole conversation with him, hear his reply, his advice, his jokes. This makes me wistful. I just don't know whether to laugh or cry, I don't know whether to be angry or try to do what I think he'd have wanted, clown around and joke, try to make it easier for the others. Just I'm wistful.
Mom worries about me because sometimes I find myself poo-poo'ing things from the Bible. I question God, His reasons, His taking someone like Dad who worked his ass off, and then He leaves a million dead-beats. I get angry thinking about it, and these things worry mom.
Things like the other day I commented (I shouldn't voice these things aloud, some day I'll learn) that God is male. I further suggested that no female God would have put Death in her perfect plan...that she would have understood this pain and grief and would have said, "Oh no, we have to have a way around that..." She would have instead built an island, or a space station, if it's imperitive that we be separated at all from those we love... and let us communicate through something like telephones or the internet. Occasionally let us vacation to their place, if not them to ours. A woman would have fixed that differently.
Saying these things made Mom uneasy. I'm sorry. I don't really believe that, not really. Just sometimes when I get to thinking on things, my mouth speaks them out loud and they're very silly things really. Here we were, celebrating the birth of Christ and I'm busy taking pot-shots at God's authority and decision-making. Sometimes I can be a real heathen.
All I can say on my behalf is that He created me. He had to know what he was doing, He's God. He knew the mind he gave me would travel down roads like these, so I don't think He's going to judge me too harshly for it. I'm hoping anyway, that he at least grades me on the curve.
Eye-Yi-Yi, Put in a good word for me, Dad...I'm walkin' a tightrope down here.
I sure do miss you.
December 24, 2007
Hey!
I got a new camera for Christmas! It's a Kodak EZ Share, LS, it's awesome, does some pretty cool things. Look what I used the panoramic setting for. *laughs* Neat, eh?!
She wanted the bandaids and we wouldn't let her have them...
She finally got them.. :)
Merry Christmas Everyone! Have a wonderful Holiday, eat lots, stay warm and above all, be safe. I love you all!
December 20, 2007
Nick's Christmas Program
You remember that he plays the saxaphone, well he had his Christmas concert Tuesday night. He called me 4 hours before to ask me if I was coming. Of course I would, but I hadn't known about it, so I'd made plans to finish up my shopping. So I raced to get it done, got some done and we all went to his concert. I warned him, next time, he's apt to catch me in my night gown, robe, hair in curlers, my face mask on, and if he does that and I don't have time to get ready, I promise faithfully, I will run, apply my most red lipstick and go just like I am. *laughs* I will too! Nick, you did a really nice job, sounded great! Here are some pictures..
A Hectic Week
Christmas dinner (check)
Christmas gifts for everyone (check)
Snacks and cookies (check)
Pop and plenty of coffee (check)
Christmas candy, fudge and nuts (check)
Cakes and pies (check)
Fruits of every kind (check)
Jello (check)
Pepcid (check)
Fat Pants (check)
Beano for Nick (check)
We're ready!
Amanda
Stan's sister's daughter, 20 years old was killed in a car accident this morning.
Topsy, I'm so sorry this has happened, I can't begin to tell you how our hearts are breaking tonight. We're here for you, God bless you all.
December 14, 2007
Today
wasn't so bad. It rained a little off and on, not too much, just a little - a cold Kentucky rain. This morning the dark clouds were flying over so fast it looked like a movie.
Roy went to work yesterday morning, then called a couple of hours later to tell Sarah he was at his Mommy's. He said he got rained out. Today he went again, and at about 1 or so he came back with his friend Ray and his boss, Mike, to drop off the truck keys to Sarah. He said they were on their lunch break. He says he likes his job. He isn't a morning person though, I can't get him to smile at all when I wake them up so he can get ready for work. I'm that same way, I just hate getting up early. Mikyla isn't a morning person either. I think the only morning person in this house is Maegan - oh she's a happy camper at 6:30 in the morning. :)
Someone called here all the way from Mississippi to tell Sarah that someone there was in her camper with a flashlight after dark. I took the message, Sarah was at work, and I hung up wondering if I should run to the Batmobile and cruise on in to Mississippi to see who it was for her. It's only a 13-14 hour drive - I think the Batmobile would make it in time to catch a prowler, don't you?
Mallory is having trouble reading. They test them on books at school every day, then question them and she's only passed 3 of the 7 tests. There are 5 questions on the tests about the books, and Mallory isn't doing very well on the questions. She does well to answer 2 of the 5. She said she just doesn't remember what she's read. She struggles so hard to sound out her words, she's not concentrating on the story. I sure wish we could have gotten her off the Depakote. We'll just have to work harder with her. Maybe her memory will get better.
Knock on wood, I'm about afraid to say this, but as of today, everyone seems to be over all the colds and viruses that hit us last week. Keep your fingers crossed for us that it stays that way for a while.
Mikyla was supposed to go cheer for a ball game tonight but she said she just didn't want to go, so I didn't make her. I was glad, I didn't feel like going either. Warmer to just sit in here and watch "Monsters Inc" with them. (I love that movie.)
We got the girls' school pictures back yesterday, boy are they pretty. I'll have to take a picture of the pictures (no scanner) and show you. They're the best ones yet. :)
About Santa; I have to quote a friend of mine, who quoted one of her teachers. "SANTA CLAUS IS THE SPIRIT OF GIVING AND RECEIVING".
Now that is the perfect reply. Thank you, Hazel! :)
Bonnie, well a little about Bonnie. I can't even type her name without laughing. She's so funny. Her cat went missing today - and she overheard her neighbors talking about how their Pit Bull ate it.. well, they were descriptive, high 5'ing each other (teen aged boys can be so tough) "Look at the blood on its mouth" "He just put the cat's head in its mouth and shook it like a rag doll, just bit it plumb off!" Ugh.
Bon was furious, sitting at the table for over two hours talking about how to do something about the dogs. They have several of the Pit Bulls there and they vex her to no end barking and then of course there's the thing with the cat tonight. She called the police who told her to call the sheriff, whose office phone wasn't being answered...just a round of frustrating attempts to get someting done about the dogs. Still fuming she went home and then about 20 minutes or so later she called me. She said sheepishly, ".. My cat's back home. Their dog didn't get her."
Isn't it something that my punk young daughter is old enough now for the neighborhood teenagers to torment? *laughs* I'm sorry they upset you Bonnie, but I'm glad your cat is okay.
Oh! I meant to leave something here about Mikyla's new business. It's a hoot. She printed out about 20 pages of paper dolls in Computer Lab at school. She brought them home and immediately started trying to sell them. To me, to Dippy, to all of us. One dollar a page.
Of course, we bought one, all grandparents need a page of paper dolls, and then she asked if she could go to the neighbors to try to sell them one. We've lived here for over 14 years now and none of the kids have ever been successful in getting them to buy anything from their school sales projects. Dip and I knew she'd be shot down, and Dips told her no, she couldn't go.
I looked at her pages of papers and her starry eyes and I said why not, the worse they can do is to say no.. she'll be able to say she tried. Let's just watch her and let her try..
So we went to the door and watched her cross the driveway.. and I'll be darned if Miss Beulah didn't pull out a dollar and buy one page of those paper dolls!
Before nights end that kid sold enough paper dolls to go to the Dollar Store and buy herself a real doll. What about her!
Okay, I've babbled enough. Be safe in the ice and rain tomorrow. G'nite, world!
This Face!
He's starting to be so much happier! What about all these beautiful smiles!
Another For Mikyla
She says Fudge needs a wife. I agree, he really does. :)
December 12, 2007
She's SUCH A Witch!
It's funny how spiteful some folks can be.
Sarah went to the health department...picked up a bunch of these car stickers, flags, magnetic car door signs, the window signs are vinyl - and she went out last night and stuck them all over our car.
Inside and out.
It was too late to take all that stuff off when we took the girls to school this morning. There were even flags stuck out of all the windows, clipped by these little plastic clips. It looked like something leading a parade, and I'm sure everyone knew those damned things came from the health department.. so the car screamed, "Hey, look! My owner was at the health department, do you want to guess why?"
Jeeze.
She's a witch.
I grudgingly give her 5 stars for that one.
I will have my revenge.
So much to do..
I got the closets cleared out. So many presents to hide. Got the laundry done. (again) And now I need to go through and get the cobwebs down, man have the cobs been busy this week. Damn. I have so much to do, I do wish for another set of arms quite often.
I remember reading on a news site last week, some little girl in China had a third arm removed. I remember reading that and thinking, my God, she'll wish she hadn't done that when she's older. I'd give ANYthing to have a third arm.
Mikyla was a thunderstorm last night. She came in here, hands on her hips, eyes flashing..
"Mammy, don't lie to me. Is Santa real or not?"
I took a minute to collect my thoughts and replied, "I don't want to lie to you Mikyla, it sounds like you're having doubts, do you think he's not real?"
"Just tell me this, Mammy, IF he's real, why is there a present in Dippy's room that says "To Nick from Santa" on it?"
Her eyes were SO accusing.. and I pride myself on not lying to her..
"Well, there's a very good explanation for that.. but first, can you tell me why you were in Dip's room when you were told not to go in there?"
Her eyes! That expression!
"Because I could see the present from the door and I HAD to look! I had to!! Now tell me, Santa hasn't come yet, so there shouldn't be a present for Nick in there, that tells me YOU bought it and put Santa's name on it.. and a boy at school says Santa isn't real! Tell me, Mammy, tell me the truth!"
"Okay. I will tell you. We didn't buy that present and put Nick's name on it.."
"Yes! You did! I saw it!"
"Mik I pinky promise.. we did not. You see.. Nick stopped believing in Santa a few years ago.. soooo.. Santa doesn't stop at his house anymore.. once you stop believing, he stops coming..."
Her eyes, her eyes went from accusing to doubtful...
"...Lisa doesn't want Nick to be sad for not getting anything from Santa so she buys him things and hides them here until Christmas. That way Nick will still get something even if he doesn't believe anymore."
"OHHhhhhhhh!"
Her eyes lit up again.. understanding this Christmas secret, relief that Santa was real and she was going to get Butterscotch the pony just like she'd asked Santa for.
Mercy I sure hope Santa can find a Butterscotch Pony.
Sue Chance Died.
Wow.
And another young woman Mom knew, 34 years old. I knew her mom but not the daughter. Just a sudden heart attack.
Just wow.
Roy Has a Job!
He starts this morning at 7:30. Construction work. Congratulations, Roy!
Strange Phone Call Last Week
I got a call from Lisa last week, forgot about it till just now. It was late, after 10, late for Lisa to be calling. She has to get up at 4 in the morning so she's usually sleeping long before 9.
She said she'd just gotten a call from my ex's fiance. She'd gotten Lisa's number from the phone book and was frantically searching for Sarah.
She told Lisa some desturbing things about Sarah and asked Lisa if she heard from her to let her know. Lisa didn't offer to tell her that Sarah's here with me, but took this woman's number down and told her she'd have me call her.
I wrote down the number had Sarah come sit at the kitchen table with me and I called this woman back.
She told me that she and Sarah had been talking over their cell phones while Sarah was in Mississippi and Sarah had called and asked them for money, that she needed to feed her kids and was broke and desperate and that they'd sent money and packages to the address there in Mississippi but they came back undeliverable, and then Sarah's phones were cut off.
She said that she'd been trying to find Sarah for weeks but didn't have any luck and they were worried sick. She went on to say that she'd found someone down there named "Fred", and this Fred told her that Sarah had gotten into some trouble over drugs and left.. that she'd just fallen off the face of the earth, he didn't know where she was.
I was repeating this as the woman was talking so Sarah could hear, Sarah's jaw dropped and she took the phone.. she started to stand, and my initital thought was ok she's gonna wander off so I can't hear what she's telling this woman, so I said, No, sit right here, don't wander away Sarah. Sarah sat closer to me, said she wasn't wandering away she was just moving so I could hear the conversation.
She told the woman harshly that she'd only spoken with her one time, they didn't have an ongoing phone relationship, she was fine and not in drug trouble, and she didn't know anyone named Fred. She told the woman not to call back and to leave her alone.
I was left with a thousand questions. I had asked that woman if in the phone call asking for money to feed the girls did Sarah say or imply the kids were with her, and then I let her know they live with me and we didn't need anything for them, they're just fine. This was just one strange phone call.
The next day, Bonnie came in and I told her about it. She wanted to speak to the woman too, so I gave her the number. The woman told Bonnie much the same thing she told me and Lisa, but said she didn't have a number to find "Fred" again, but this time she added she didn't mean to get Sarah in trouble that "Fred" sounded bitter to her and she wouldn't put much stock in what he'd said.
I so wonder.. how did this woman find Fred. How did she know to find a mutual aquaintance of Sarah's like that down there, I'd not have known to call around to find a Fred. I would have had to call the State police to try to find Sarah for me if she'd gone missing. Curiouser and Curiouser.
What a strange phone call.
I can be a witch.
I know that's hard (ha ha ha) for some of you to believe but I can. When I dig in my heels, they're not coming out.
I dug in my heels about this Hannah Montanah concert tonight, let's see what happens now.
Last week the girl's other gramma called. It seemed Sarah and Roy were telling her that Mik and Mal wanted to go to "Toys R Us" in Lexington. Nana told me she'd not mind taking them any other time of year, but right now, with all the holiday shopping, she just wasn't comfortable driving down there in the holiday traffic. She'd take them any other time of the year, just not now.
My reply to that was, wow, I hadn't thought of the traffic, but yes, it would be worse now than usual, but besides that, a trip now to Toys R Us would be nuts because you know they'd be wanting to buy toys and it's so close to Christmas they'd probably pick things to buy that we already have under the tree. She agreed whole heartedly, right, no trip to Lexington for them until after Christmas.
A couple of nights later, Sarah came in and said she wanted to talk to me about a gift from Nana to the girls for Christmas.. sure, what about it? Well, she's wanting to take them to Lexington to the Hannah Montanah concert next week, what do you think?
I think it's a bad idea, she already told me she's not comfortable with the traffic in Lexington right now, she didn't want to take them to Toys R Us because of it, so why is going to Rupp Arena any safer now? Nah, tell her to forget it the traffic's too bad, I'd be home worried sick till they got back. We dont have Dad with us this year, let's not chance something happening to the girls too, tell her to get them something else. It'd be nice, just let's not have to worry about them like that right now. You're right mom, I agree, I will tell her that.
Day before yesterday she just pointed on a map of Rupp Arena in the phone book she was leafing through, "Here's where the ticket seats for the concert are."
"I thought we talked about that and they're not going."
Her attitude became combative, "They're my kids and they are going."
I sat there for a time, steaming, and then I just got angry.
"No. They're you're kids, but they're not going. I'm not gonna sit here worried to death when I know Nana isn't comfortable driving down there, all of you just walk away and do your own thing and I have been here taking care of these kids keeping them safe and you ASKED me, we agreed it's a bad idea and then you do let this happen? No. I'm going to call Nana myself and this isn't going to happen."
It became a battle of wills.
Her eyes all narrowed and scrunched up.
The hump on my back more prominant and my horns lowered.
"You make me feel like they're not my kids."
"They're not. Not entirely. They're mine too now, by common decency and squatters rights. All of you went your own merry way, living your own merry lives and I have been right here with them now for all of their lives but a month here, a week there, a day here, a night there. You can't come back now and think to just do anything you want. It doesn't work that way."
"You make me feel like a slob. You make me clean up our messes."
"It's my house Sarah, if you make a mess, it's only right that you clean it up, I shouldn't have to ask..."
"... and you make me feel funny about what we eat and drink here."
(inner turrets - We haven't been able to keep a slice of cheese since you decided to stay. There's never any pop in the fridge, yet full opened cans are scattered everywhere. You light my cigarettes and hand to Roy. You have all but wiped out Mallory's box of Christmas candy. You're the first to the dinner table and last to leave without picking up the mess unless you're asked. A doughnut doesn't stand a chance if you're in the room and you feel 'funny' about eating and drinking here? Bullshit.)
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. Maybe if you were more independant and Roy had a job you'd not feel so funny if you were contributing a little more, it's been over a month now..."
"We're sleeping on an air mattress on the floor!"
(more internal turrets: Now she wants my bed!
"That's not my fault."
Things didn't go the way either of us wanted. She was still firm, they're going to the concert, I was still firm, I'm not giving up my bed. We both walked away with a "We'll see" attitude. Later though she did come and tell me there really aren't any Hannah Montanah tickets, she was just in essence, letting me know she was the boss as far as the kids were concerned. I just gently let her know they're not going.
The concert's tonight. We'll see.
Just Wanted to Say...
Happy Birthday, Pete!!!!!
Hope you have a good one! Stay warm!
December 11, 2007
Oh My GOD!
I sat bolt upright in bed just now and realized I forgot to say happy birthday to Jana!
Happy Belated Birthday, Jana!!!
I remembered! I did, but then I totally forgot, I'm so sorry, please forgive me!
December 10, 2007
Today...
...was a rough day. Truthfully, it's been a rough week. We've all been sick but at different times. Mik first, then the next day Mal, the next day Maegan, the next day me, then Mik with something else, and passed that all around. I really hate the attendance policies are now, you can miss 3 parent note days then you have to go to court if you dont have doc excuses.. for that reason, when someone's child is so sick they can't stand up, their parents still send them to school and the other kids catch it, and bring it home and the next thing we know everyone's sick and at the doctor. Jeeze. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard of. If kids are sick, don't send them to school, keep them home, stop spreading all this icky stuff!
Sarah and I have started quarrelling. It's not easy to have 2 families living under the same roof. I sure hope we can get along so that Christmas isn't messed up any more than it already is. Tempers flare when things don't go the way we want and it's hard not to say something sometimes. I'm going to have to learn to bite my tongue a little harder.
She just told me that if Roy shows up someplace in the morning he will have a job. Keep your fingers crossed folks!
It's been raining here since early last night. I fell awake at 4 this morning to a really nice warm rain and went to stand on the front porch watching it for the longest time. It was so peaceful and quiet, I didn't want to come back inside. But.. the thought of the monster in my backyard nudged me a bit and suddenly I'd had enough of the porch, got my butt inside and got my laundry done and the kitchen cleaned back up.
Shannon, it was good to see you yesterday. I'm glad you liked your bracelet. If anyone out there wants a really neat but odd bracelet, you should check out this site, it's for people who have lost a loved one. The stones represent the person, blue for fathers, green for uncles..so on and so forth it's pretty neat. I got Mom, Me, and Shannon one and they were delivered within a week of my ordering them.
Me Too
Enough babbling, I'm going to bed. G'nite world!
The Mall
Doesn't she look like one of those life sized walking dolls.. when you try to sit them down their stiff legs wont do anything but just what Maegan's are doing.
December 02, 2007
Tell Me a Story.
Hey Dad. It's me again. I've had you on my mind all day. First of all, I think, because it's Sunday. And you weren't there. Then of course, because we all went Christmas shopping. And.. you weren't there. We had our picture taken with Santa. And you weren't there. We went out to eat. And, again... you weren't there. Yeah, today was nice enough, things went smoothly, but we were all so very aware that you were missing - we didn't talk about it, hell, we didn't have to. It's hard to be jolly, ho ho ho, we try, we do, but God it's hard. When every move or turn I seem to want to say "Hey Dad, look at that!" or "Hey Dad, did you remember to get.. " It's like.. diet life. There's no salt flavoring anything anymore. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I missed you being with us. And just so you know, it really is gonna be a blue blue blue blue blue blue Christmas.
I love you Dad.
Mal's Night Out
We took her shopping with us at the Middlesboro Mall this afternoon.. Nick, Lisa, Mom, and Mal and me had a grand old time too. First we stopped off at the Arcade, where she won lots of tickets... then we shopped at the toy store.. and then we saw santa, had our pictures made with him, then we stopped at that Cookie Connection and had to get a kazillion of those cookies.. Yum! THEN we had to go to Ryan's and eat, cuz we were hungry.. Mal ate till she looked like one of those poor balloons on Shrek. I thought she was gonna pop! We all had a good time!
Dinner Today
Kelly invited us to his Christmas dinner at the National Guard Armory today. He wanted us to bring the kids because Santa was supposed to be there, so we went. We had a good time, ate a lot of good food, got some pictures, but we missed Santa.. he was there hours before we got there. We'll have to catch up with him someplace else! Thanks for the invitation Kelly, we all enjoyed that!
